SHUT UP! jenzie

thirteen

I MAKE MY WAY TO ENGLISH CLASS
wishing i would've just skipped it and stayed in my room. johnny has that class with me and my seat is right next to his. it looks like he skipped school yesterday, he never tried to talk to me or anything, i would've forgiven him about him and nadia kissing, but the way he acted really threw me off.

i walk into the class dragging my feet as i walk inside. i notice johnny's seat empty and i sigh in relief, mandla flashes me a sympathetic smile and i show him a half smile. i take my seat and get my notebook out. i cross my arms and tap my foot on the floor anxiously waiting for the teacher to arrive.

i accidentally start day dreaming, but mandla's voice snapped me out of it. "hey dude" he says

i soon realize he isn't talking to me, i look up and see johnny walking into class, he looks rough. his hair is pretty messy and he's wearing a black hoodie with the hood up. he has light bags under his eyes and his eyes aren't the usually shimmering green.

our eyes meet, but i almost immediately look away. he takes his seat beside me and starts talking to mandla about god knows what. ugh i wish i sat next to mandla. johnny never comes to school looking this messy, i can't be the one to talk, i'm wearing a beige sweatshirt with huge sleeves, i paired it with black pants. i'm also wearing a dark blue cap. i though that might cover my face since literally everyone is taller than me.

the teacher finally walks in and begins teaching.

class goes by way too slow, i dread almost every second of it. johnny is like 5 inches beside me, when i finish my reading i start wondering that if i didn't tell him about my feelings toward him, then our friendship wouldn't have gotten so complicated. i also realize johnny's birthday is this friday.

i really don't want to end my friendship with him just because of stupid feelings we have for eachother. i hate to say this, but i can't live without him. last night i gathered up all my thoughts and decided to let it all go.

finally the bell rings, i have math next with annie. i decide to go talk to johnny, he gets up and walks out quickly. i call out his name but he doesn't answer, i see he has his airpods in so i run up to him and nudge his arm. he notices me and his expression is still stone cold. he takes his phone out and pauses his music.

"yeah?" he asks.

"can i come over tonight?" i ask nervously. he slows down walking.

he shrugs while looking ahead of him.

"please" i respond

he looks at me, he nods his heads. and then turns right leaving me. i sigh and turn around walking to math.

throughout math, me and annie just talked. she gave me advice and i tell her about everything that has happened.

she asked me if i forgave nadia, the answer to that is yes. i want to be the bigger person and leave it all in the past. she came home yesterday and gave me a 20 minute long lecture about how her and johnny are over, how she thinks johnny is gross and how much she is sorry. i ended up telling her to shut up and giving her a hug.

the day passes by very very slow. i grab my phone and get up from my bed at 5pm.

"where you going?" nadia asks not leaving her gaze from her laptop.