Oh darling, I've been trying but this is the best I could do.
Write.
As quiet as it seems, each word, each sentence combined into paragraphs are made from my blood, tears and pain.
Each word screams power, affection and pride.
NOTE:
This is not a...
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I'd love to start at the very beginning, on how you managed to be involved in a beautiful madness complexified by the scent of vulnerability and humor of sophistication.
You were there, i know you were there at every corner of my eyes I saw you even when I'm not looking, the soft stare that was intently meant for me, the quiet smiles that you cracked when I relentlessly speak without any hesitation to prove myself right, and the suppressed laughter that was for the silly childish behavior I endevour. I know all of it was for me, but as the self I always am I stayed quiet.
Time has passed and you impressively made your way in, I couldn't help but notice how your soft hands brush against my palm, even when there was so many hardships you've faced just so you could fit those hands, those beautiful hands onto my distressed palm telling me that better days are coming, your touch was so reassuring that even when I deny, I know myself, I have found comfort in you.
It was weird on how fast I have come on being familiar of you. Your scent was lovely, your gaze deemed admiration and your voice was too lawful for me to accept. There I know, I was doomed to love you.
My mind took the liberty to protect my heart, it sure knows how dangerous for me to be involved in the worst psychological problem that was love.
And there I found myself committing one of the worse decisions that I have made, pushing you away. I've ignored you so many times but this time, regrets have been piling up on my chest and conscience were weighing over my shoulder, fighting myself at night whether it was right to runaway just like that thinking you'd eventually get tired and leave, if so, I just saved myself from another heartbreak.
But you proved me wrong, you stayed. Surprisingly you did. For a second there I felt relieved. I was afraid you'll prove me right.
You offered me friendship in return of my cowardness, you said you wouldn't force me to love you if that was against my principles. There I realized, it was true what they say, that people's greed knows no bounds. I wanted more but was afraid to ask.
I was foolish, for the second time around I left you hanging.
I know it was stupid, but I couldn't let myself hold the responsibility to let you have me in a way you know isn't right. I can't give you half of the whole pie you gave me. You deserve more, that I am sure of.
Things were tough, I handled everything by myself I have learned to water the withered flowers on my walls, it was beautiful and the thorns that comes with it became my strength.
Myself was whole again.
Destiny cracked a joke on me, you came back. With more determination than ever to win my heart. And from that moment, I've come to realize I am equipped with courage and armored with bravery because I know this time I am ready to face my tomorrow with sunshine above my head, and loaded love on my chest.
Sometimes confusions can lead to unexpectedly beautiful roads, and I am grateful that I've followed what my heart told me to, and that I have let my mind protect me from the wrong time and let me grow into my own beautiful garden first, before I let my guard down I must say that you were the most beautiful risk I ever took.
