Double Pain, Double Pleasure

Can

He became the man he didn't want to be.....

Your childhood experiences shapes you for your adulthood.

His childhood was mostly influenced by one woman,

the one who should have protected you,

keep you safe from harm, guides you through

your journey to explore the world,

to be there for you when you get hurt.

This one woman who should have done that

was the one who didn't,

his mother,

who didn't love him, his sister or his father enough to stay,

 who left them when they were least expecting it.

Growing up with the knowledge that your mother 

had abandoned you was devastating.

There were always those nagging feelings.

Why didn't she love me enough to stay?

What did I do wrong?

To ask yourself that as a young child is a question

you will never find the answer for.

The only two persons who did love him,

cared for him and really knew him,

were his sister Leyla and his father Aziz.

Because of the lack of maternal love he had experienced as a child

he wanted to find desperately love

in his following relationships with women.

The next decisions he has made in his life according to women

backfired him completely so now by the age of 29

he made a promise to himself.

I will never fall in love again,

I will never lose ME again.

No more love, only lust.

he wasn't a gigolo but he didn't mind

the occasional one night stand.

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Can rested his head against hers 

and asked hoarsly what her name was,

with a husky voice she responded,

"Sanem, my name is Sanem"

He breathed out, 

"Sanem" 

when he finally slides his.........