Letters from Anandashram - 1993 to 1994

13. Plans to Move On - July 1994

Plans to Move On

July 7, 1994

Anandashram

Dear Parents,

Divya conveys her namaskars. Things have been happening in a fast-slow sort of way!

In early June, I started to feel that it was time to move on. I became restless to go! But I didn’t know where to. From a book on Ashrams (from the library), I got the address of Sri Yukteswarji’s Puri ashram. I wrote a letter saying I was a Kriyaban and would like to come there to review the practices, etc.

About June 27th, I had a dream where I was traveling a long distance on a train. The Puri ashram came in view, but as I was about to get down from the train, a man came running out of the ashram with both his hands waving, “No, no! You can't come!” So I continued on the train towards my destination (unknown). I was thinking, “Sheesh! They wouldn’t even let me approach the gate or introduce myself!” (Reminiscent of my last visit to Puri, when they wouldn't let me stay in Yukteswar's ashram because I was a lady alone; and also how I couldn't enter the big Jagannath Puri temple because I was a foreigner!)

Then, two days later, on June 29th, I received the reply from the Puri ashram: it was just a postcard that said, “Gurudev is in USA in good health.” Who is ‘Gurudev’? Where in USA? I don’t know! But I gathered that I was not invited to the ashram if ‘Gurudev’ wasn’t there! So thinking my dream had come true, I kept silent, waiting for God to make a move if He really wanted me to move on.

I didn’t have to wait long for, on July 1st (yes Dad, your birthday! but it also happened to be bad-luck ashtami) with no warning, Swami Satchidananda sent word that he wanted to see me. When I went, he said that I had stayed too long and I should go, as to stay in one place for too long was harmful to spiritual progress!

With no idea of where to go, I consulted Sri Ram, who told me of the ashram of Swami Omkar called, “Shanti Ashram,” which is in Andhra Pradesh. There is also another lady here who had visited there, and said it was very quiet and would suit me very well. It sounds very nice and peaceful, so I said that I would go there.

They had me write an introductory letter (actually, Sri Ram wrote a draft in proper Indian style that begun, “Allow me to introduce myself as a humble seeker from America..”, and he told me to copy it in my own writing!). Then Swami Satchidananda also added a letter that said, “Divya is a quiet personality and devotes all her time to sadhana.”

So, we have sent the letter and I will be here until the reply comes. Maybe I will go around the third or fourth week of this month; I will write you when I have the train reservation. Then, when I arrive I will write you about the ashram. Of course, Anandashram will forward my mail there.

On July 2nd Swami Satchidananda called me and gave Mother Krishnabai’s sari as prasad. I felt it was a blessing so I accepted it. However, now that I will be traveling about with no permanent place, I need to keep luggage light. Suddenly it occurred to me to send you the sari, as well as a silk one that Venkamma had given me (I had at first planned to give it to Anandashram as I did with so many other things – unneeded luggage). Also, the bulky diary of memories of V. I’m sending all those to you by sea-mail tomorrow.

You must be busy with house-building and astrology duties. Keep happy & healthy,

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu!

Love,

Divya