The Hidden Silent

Chapter 2- An Ordinary Monday

Dear diary.

Mum was sort of worried about me when I got home that afternoon after spending the morning with Thomas. She was going to take me to a doctor but I managed to convince her it wasn't worth it. She eventually agreed and just got me to listen to Mozart and lie on my bed. She thinks it calms me down, which it usually does but not yesterday. I was too preoccupied with everything. Thomas rang me that night too, to check I was okay. He always worries to much. I have a minor stress-disorder, but he does too, it's just self-diagnosed. He always worries about me... Like I am some sort of paper doll who could tear or blow away at any time. It makes me feel safer though, his constant protection. It makes me feel loved and like I'm living in a book where everything is how it should be- which is so so far from the truth.

I'm not really sure what to do, that's why I'm writing in here. It's Sunday and I have been in bed doing homework and reading all day. Tomorrow is the second week of term. I don't know if I can face school, it will be too much.

And he'll be there.

Waiting.

Love Lilly.

~~~~~~~~

"Love you mum!" I called out as I pulled the front door shut behind me.

I heard a muffled reply but I couldn't really make out any words.

I stared out at the bustling street, taking in the smell of freshly mown grass and the sounds of cars, bikes and people going about their everyday lives. A dog barked in the distance and I stepped off the doorstep, heading for the gate.

My bag was as heavy as ever with the many books, my lunch and my numerous stationary packs including my art pallet and paints.

Unlatching the gate, I picked a marigold from one of the small plants growing around the edge of our garden. I tucked the fiery flower behind my ear as I leant against the fence, waiting for Thomas to come striding around the corner of the street.

I breathed in deeply. Everything was so ordinary, so normal, so right. The sun was smiling down in an apologetic way, while the clouds sidled across the azure sky, not quite ready to accept their banishment. The bird in the blossom tree a couple of meters away chirruped happily, relieved of the change in weather.

The world smelt fresh and new.

It felt like one of those scratch cards, the shiny colorful surface, luring you in to have a go. Then, once you'd scratched away the bright layer of promise, only those disappointing words 'try again next time!' beaming out at you. I felt like no one else had peeled away that layer yet and the sun was oblivious to the drooping expectations in the shadows.

I closed my eyes.

Maybe the sun was trying to help me forget by sending golden rays to peach my checks.

Then I heard the familiar jingle and I opened my eyes, grinning at his messed up hair.

"Hey Lil! How are you? Look... Please don't mention the hair. I know it looks like I've been in World War III!"

I brushed some hair from his emerald eyes as he leant against the gate beside me.

"Hey Tom, I'm fine. It doesn't look that bad really...It looks like you wanted it to be that way. Stylishly messy." I said softly, tactfully picking my words, so grateful that he'd started this topic and hadn't mentioned Saturday.

"Well, maybe you should be my hairdresser. You can fix this black mop and give me advise on what's 'in' and what isn't." He shook his head exaggeratedly like a dog ridding itself of water after an unexpected bath.