the art of falling

our tears are made of citrus

it is 9:34pm and you still taste like orange blossoms and burnt sugar

you, my love, are a hazy summer afternoon bleeding into a dusky sunset ( sweet n bitter ) / the citrus tears have long since bled out from where we slit out wrists from pure recklessness and now they're staining our skin with peach nectar / you took my hand while the syrup poured through our fingers and out slipped my sour cherry glass clad heart with it 'cause you looked at me with tequila clouding your eyes and man, i was a goner / call me stupid but i miss the clusters of stars on your apricot satin cheeks and maybe even the way the sunlight caught your hair and made it glow

you are my golden hour / but i will not spend another night staying up and thinking of you

it is 10:48pm and i can't shake the way your touch felt electric on my skin

perhaps i am not meant to stop thinking of the way you bite into me with those perfect marble teeth of yours and leave a mark on me to show off to the whole world / you fill my mouth with lavender oil and pretty poetry that cascades off my lips when i think of you / what are you doing to me, my darling?

i will not stay up and think about you i will not i will not i will not

it is 12:18am and all that i can think of is you, you, you

i fill my lungs with the scent of you while morphine flows through my veins and i'm feeling numb, numb / i inhale exhale but the thought of you sends glass through my lungs and oh no i cant breathe you are on me, you are in me, you are me

ALL THAT IS IN MY MIND IS YOU. YOU CONTROL ME, DON'T YOU SEE?

it is 3:01am and my tears taste salty but they also taste like you

now the sadness paints my cheeks and i am bathed in silver moonlight basking in my own misery / where did i go wrong?  / where did i go so fucking wrong?

it is 6:26am and i am over you. i am over you i am over you i am over you i am OVER YOU

tonight, i will not stay up and think about you.