One Day At A Time

Chapter 43

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Landon's POV

“Hey mate, what is the matter with you?” Mark said, slapping me roughly on the shoulder.

“Nothing,” I snapped. “I'm just bloody great.”

Mark chuckled at my answer and surveyed the crowd of dancing, wild people before us. I was glad graduation would never come again. Right now, I simply couldn't stand it.

“It's a party, man, you're supposed to be having a good time.”

“I'm just not into it,” I responded sourly.

Mark rolled his eyes at me. “Where's that girlfriend of yours?”

I stiffened at his question, anger flooding through me.

“How am I supposed to know? She's here somewhere,” I growled.

He gave me a questioning look, but said no more, for which I was grateful for. He had no idea what he'd be getting into.

Though I was absolutely furious with her, I still found myself scanning the crowded lawn for Alicia's familiar form. My gaze soon landed on her, perched up on a picnic table, her legs crossed daintily to keep herself covered in her pink-fitted dress. Her hair was pulled back in a surprisingly, flattering braid. Her hazel eyes seemed to stand out even at the distance between us. Morgan and April each sat on a side of her, talking rapidly, no doubt throwing jokes, as her eyes were lit up in a smile.

It confused me to know end how she could act the way she was when it was clear to me she wasn't happy. Yet she seemed to be expert at throwing on this facade that hid her inner feelings. I, on the other hand, felt like a lost puppy and it would appear I looked like one too. Every day since our argument had occurred, things had gotten increasingly more awkward and heated between us. Though it pained us with everything we had, we acted like it was the most natural and easy thing in the world. So everyday, I seemed to be getting more and more angry, while she seemed to be more and more hurt.

For the briefest moment, her eyes flickered over me and paused and I could feel my heartbeat quicken as I held my breath for a sign of softness, but my hope was dashed as her features hardened and she tore her gaze away from me back to her friends. I took another swig from my drink, trying to focus my burning eyes on something else. I saw more from my group of buddies pushing their way towards us before they sat down in the leftover empty chairs or the grass.

In my peripheral vision, I caught something moving quickly. I glanced over to see April frantically waving some guys over. It was when I saw the familiar head of auburn hair, that I felt my stomach clench. The girls were all giggling, and I could clearly see the grin on Alicia's face. They all seemed to be making some sort of decision, and soon they all stood and walked away in a group. I instantly felt myself getting more anxious, being that she was no longer in my sight, but at the same time, I was frustrated. I wasn't supposed to care anymore.

Trying to get my mind off her, I turned my attention to the boisterous guys beside me and allowed myself to get drowned in their conversation.

It wasn't until I saw the two redheads coming back again, alone, that my attention was again diverted. They sat down, both clutching a drink, their close proximity driving me even more insane. It seemed like an easy thing for Kayden to make her laugh, but I silently prayed she was only trying to do the same thing I was...forget the pain. It wasn't until Mark squeezed my shoulder, that I pulled my eyes away to give him a questioning look.

“Mate, you okay?” He seemed concerned and I glanced down at my hands, realizing why. They were clenched tightly together, my knuckles white and fingertips red, from the immense about of pressure I had been applying. I could only imagine what my face had looked like too.

“Yeah, man, I'm fine,” I lied, and he could tell.

“Just tell me what's going on,” he pressed, nudging his head in the direction of Kayden and Alicia. “Why is she with him?”

I shook my head, biting my lip sharply when I saw Kayden touch her arm. “Because I messed up, that's why,” I snapped.

But inside, I still could feel the anger of what she had chosen over me. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth. It would make me look weak, which was something I could not handle. And besides, surely if that was what she wanted more, it was better to let her go.

Mark seemed to understand the tenderness of the subject, but his studying gaze never left my face. “If you want to talk, man, you know where I am.”

I nodded gratefully. Alicia's bubbly laughter carried across the lawn and through the maze of bodies to me, making me cringe. I should be the one making her laugh, not some other guy who has been waiting for one mess-up just so he could slip in. Sometimes I hated myself for this, but I couldn't bend, I just couldn't.

I could feel her gaze on me, and I drug mine to her slowly, our eyes locking. I couldn't read any emotions in her eyes, she was like a blank page. I quickly turned away from her, scared she would be able to read what was lying just underneath my surface.

I stood, brushing out my pants and gesturing for Mark to come with me.

“Where we going?” he asked, following behind me.

“I don't know. Somewhere, anywhere just to get out of this.”

He gave me a sympathetic look as we headed for my car. I flung the door open with force, allowing some of my frustration to show and took one more look at her before ducking in. Her eyes were locked on me, showing sadness, and perhaps even regret. It seemed like she had suddenly forgotten about Kayden and I was all she saw, but I wasn't about to back down.

I was too proud, and it was my pride that would make me fall.