i groaned and coughed and rolled my eyes and grinned and i did every possible emotion i could muster up in that stuffy room.
the amount of anxiety in me, didn't help the scene in hand at all.
my therapist was noticeably irritated from the start.
"pennylane, we are doing this to help you. please try to cooperate with me."
ms.anders told me with a sour expression, thinking it somehow would change the fact that i didn't want to be here. scratch that, i didn't need to need to be here.
help? this is to help me? last time i checked, my mother never asked how i felt about this sort of 'help'.
this 'help', doesn't carry me through these long nights filled with muffled screams and laughs that last for too long.
this 'help', doesn't stop the abusive remarks my father shouts towards me.
this 'help', doesn't shake off the voices whispering around the halls in school about me.
this 'help', has never helped me at all.
it has done far from it.
i grinned sinisterly towards her,
"i think you just want you're paycheck."
sighing she replied,
"for the hundredth time, this is not about the money, it's about you're disorder and how we want to fix it."
looking down, towards the sleeves of my sweater, contemplating whether i should make a remark at her comment. after much needed thinking, i spoke.
"it's quite downgrading how you call my type of situation a disorder. you know, it actually makes us feel like shit. i can surely handle this type of logic you doctors have, but some are just incapable of blocking it out. you will never understand how us people live with themselves, thinking they're some psycho human, until you get a call at 2AM in the morning, a voicemail that whispers with a vulnerable voice, 'i couldn't take it anymore."
i was quite proud of myself, knowing that was the first speech i gave about myself for the past two years.
her figure vibrated and the words she spoke emotionally left a new bruise on my already shattered frame,
"depression is a disorder sweetie, why do you think you're here?"
-
a/n
wowza that was heavy
YOU ARE READING
pennylane. - michael clifford
Fanfiction"he was a shitty person, i was also a shitty person, living in a shitty place. and we made the everlasting mistake of thinking we could fix each other." i spilled to the stranger next to me. "it's a fucked up world, filled with fucked up people, you...
