One Night With My Bestfriend

Kabanata 13

The idea of having genuine people around you is so damn great, but the reality of my life isn't that great.

Genuine people are so rare that if you get one you'll be lucky your whole life.

It's been weeks, i isolated myself, my parents didn't know about the results yet, at ang dinadahilan ko ay may summer class ako kaya hindi ako umuuwi.

My dad is still in jail, facing the 'alleged' charges against him. I didnt have any news about it, they want me to go home and stay there. I've been suffocated all my life.  Being in here is kinda my freedom.

I cut people out of my life even Ashton. 

I wanted to get drunk and bury the hatchet but i cant manage to do so.

I have nowhere else to go. I've been isolating mtself too much and a tried to go out and jog.

Dumaan ako malapit na sa bahay nila Keegan and there i saw Ashton with a familiar girl. Its not Ashley. Definitely not.

Nasa harapan sila ng bahay, they look sweet, and my blood is boiling but, deep down i dont know what to do, i dont know how to handle him.

I have never been in this kind of situation i dont know how relationship works, like its going to be a long term, its not a puppy love from highschool.

I tried to walk a bit. He looks happy, he's  smiling even better. The girl looks classy, mukhang mayaman, looks like she can buy anything she wants, just a plea from daddy without hardwork. 

She's pretty.. bagay sila. I wonder who she is, anong parte niya sa buhay ni Ashton?

It doesn't matter to me anymore. Tumalikod ako roon. I started to Jogg at binusinahan ako ni Andrei kasama si Marcus. Inirapan ko lamang sila at tumakbo na ako ng mabilis. Magkikirita ata sila.

I tried to be busy as possible, summer na at kailangan ko nang mag trabaho, i really dont know what to do with my college life is this really the end?

I deeply sighed. My phone was ringing kakatapos lang ng shift ko, im in the locker room.

Nakita ko sa screen ang pangalan ng Papa.

"Yes pa??"

"Lanis anak.., i am so sorry anak. Sana maintindihan mo ako, maniwala ka saakin i didnt do this, everything was just a frame up anak.." i closed my eyes when i heard his voice, i tried not cry. His voice feels like he's tired from everything.

"Pa i'm okay, naniniwala po akong malalampasan natin ito. Did you get a bail? Did tita helped you?"

"Oo anak, kaso nahihiya ako sa tita mo.." pumikit ako ng mariin, di dahil sa inis ako sa ama ko kundi narin sa parusa ng buhay saamin.

What did we do wrong?

Yes this is a test, pero hindi manlang ako maliwanagan.

Madami na kaming utang sa tiyahin ko sa side ni Papa, i cant thank enough pero nakakahiya na.

I so wanted to help, gusto kong tumulong but i dont know how.

"Pa okay lang po, ibabalik din po natin iyong pera, promise po pa. Magpahinga na po kayo. "

"Magdasal ka sa Diyos anak. "

Walang palya niyang sinasabi iyon saakin. Even though, i am in the situation where my family is super close to God.

I dont know, i flew away. There's this space with me and the Big Guy right now. No matter how i push myself to him, no matter how much i push myself to go to church, its just plain hypocrisy.

I am well aware of my state. The Anxiety and Depression is staying inside my body like they own it. It's hard to get rid of the feeling everyday.

Back to zero.  We always ask for the right path to walk in, however there's no clear vision of it,you will walk in life blind, because we dont know where we are walking is it right or wrong?

Ang buhay minsan parang isang graph ng company. It goez down it goes up. Umuwi ako kaagad ng bahay, wala ang tiyahin ko, she looks busy these days, minsan yung niluluto kong pagkain hindi niya ginagalaw.

Napasinghap nalang ako nang makita na nandon sa harapan ng bahay namin si Ashton, i breathed hard.

I missed him.

"Kumusta?" Bungad niya saakin.  Umupo ako sa tabi niya, sa hammock, it was big enough to fit the both of us.

I met his gaze, he looks worried.
Napalunok ako dahil hindi ko alam ang sasabihin.

We're too silent.

I like  silence.

"Ayos lang naman ako, tinatanggap ko na iyong resulta." May halong lungkot at sigla iyong sinabi ko.

"Those results doesn't define, how good you are or bad you are, its just a number i doesnt define your abilities Lanis. " he took two cans of beers inside his bag.

Napailing nalang ako. Pero kinuha ko nalang din, sometimes we need to get drunk and find the reason to move forward, iba ang impact ng alak, kapag problemado, it can get rid of the problem, for like how many hours but, it makes my mind clear, my thoughts and all.

It gives me guts.

"Kumusta ka? "

"Everything is fine." Tinitigan niya lang ako.

"Dont stare at me like that. Did i do something wrong?" He took my hand. Aalma sana ako kaso hinigpitan niya iyong hawak niya at pinatong sakanyang hita.

"Andrei told me, nakita ka raw nila nag ja jogging kanina"

"Uhuh.." tumingin ako sa langit habang sumisim sim ng beer. Mapakla ito but everybody likes it.

Nag aalangan akong tumingin sakanya.

"There's this girl, that my mom wanted me to date." Mataman ko lamang siyang pinakinggan habang tumatango tango.

"And i said no, but this morning, the girl went here so i had to kinda entertain her for a bit."

"And--" doon ko na siya tinigil ng tiningnan ko siya ng masama. He looks guilty but im not mad. Who am i to be mad at him anyway?

"I saw it, and you're allowed to date anyone Ash." Komento ko, his jaw clenched, he looks pissed off.

Hinila ko ang mga kamay ko palayo sakanya.

"You don't have to explain any--" hindi ako natapos, he pulled my arm, just for me to get closer to him and then his arm extended on my waist.

My heart is beating so fast, we werent this close!!! He's too perfect for me.

He looked at my lips then back to my eyes, he kissed me slowly, gently with passion, blending in with eagerness.

I dont know how to respond! I want to respond!

He muttered a curse before looking at me, namumungay ito, i cant read him.

"Not that i dont want to respond, i just dont know how to kiss back." I said honestly.

Did i made him sad??

He chuckled.

"No." Ngumisi ito, he slightly caress my cheeks.

"Ashton.. i have something to tell you." 

Hindi niya ako pinasimula he kissed me again. "I like it but i'll make you respond" hinila niya ako lalo palapit sakanya, i was so awkward.