Learning Curve | Joanne

Thief

"I'll get the camera and stuff set up. Do you need anything?" Joe asked Dianne as he walked around the living room, making sure he had everything he needed to film this week's reaction video.

Dianne smiled. "I'm fine. I might just go for a wee while you're getting ready, though."

Joe nodded. "Alright. Well, remember to flush and wash your hands."

Dianne rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to do either. On purpose." She laughed as Joe presented his middle finger to her as she walked out the door, making her way up the stairs to Joe's en-suite bathroom. Whilst she was in there, she noticed the raised bumps on her arms and realised how cold she was. Once she was finished, she wandered over to her boyfriend's wardrobe in the hope he had something she could throw on- she only had a coat with her and it would look really strange for her to wear it on camera.

She didn't particularly like being in Joe's wardrobe by herself without him knowing; plucking up the courage to slide open the door took a couple of minutes. Once she was inside, however, she felt like a kid in a candy store. Joe had an amazing array of clothes and- luckily for her- most of them were just about her size. Filing through the huge collection of hoodies and jumpers on display, Dianne's fingers traced over the fluffy fabric of a biscuit-coloured number. She smiled to herself as she took it off the hanger and pulled it over her head. Catching sight of herself in the mirror, she nodded. "Perfect."

///

"I thought you'd got lost" Joe said as Dianne walked back down the stairs. He paused, looking at his girlfriend in the hallway. "Hang on, is that mine?"

Dianne pulled down the hoodie, grinning up at him. "You don't mind, do you? I was cold. I've only got a coat."

Joe rolled his eyes but stepped closer to her. "You look like a teddy bear." He wrapped his arms around her. "Are you warm enough now?" Dianne nodded and grinned. Joe rolled his eyes. "I bet you are, bloody thief. You could have picked something else, though. It's not the most... inconspicuous one you could have chosen."

Dianne smiled innocently. "What does inconspicuous mean?"

Joe shook his head. "It means, Dianne, that people know that's mine. You could have gone for, like, a plain black or grey one. Or something that could be- what's the word? Unisex. But no. You go for the one that people will see and automatically think 'oh, Dianne's wearing that because she's sleeping with Joe'. We agreed to be subtle. As cute as it is, you in my clothing is not subtle. At all."

Dianne stood back for a second, unsure if Joe was really annoyed or just joking. "I can take it off if you want. I... I'll pick something else. Something more... inconclusive."

"Inconspicuous" Joe said, unable to stop himself from smiling. "Well, I guess they'll work it out sooner or later. If it's not a hoodie, they'll see something else I've forgotten to edit out."

Dianne grinned. "True. Plus, it's pretty hard to edit out the way you look at me, Joseph. With those cute little puppy dog eyes..." she leaned closer to her boyfriend, making a childish kissing sound.

He sighed. "Shut up. Anyway, shall we film? It's already late and I need sleep."

"Me too. Right, let's go." Dianne looked down, noticing that Joe's arms were now wrapped around her, his head on her shoulder. "Joseph" she said quietly, "this"- she gestured to his current position- "is not subtle." She leaned down and kissed his head. "You were the one who said..."

Joe pouted. "I know. But you're warm and cuddly and I'm so tired, Dianne."

"Well then. Let's get this filmed so we can go to bed."