I keep seeing people I went to school with. It's extremely depressing. When I graduated high school I wasn't anything impressive. I didn't make good grades. I didn't go to college. I didn't travel the world. As a young adult they tell you to go out and live. Do you have any idea how hard that is when you don't make enough money to do any of that? It's wonderful that the people I used to know have grown into more envy worthy versions of them selves.
It's my fault really, I brought it upon myself. All I did was get a job, move out, find my life partner, move back in with my mother and realize how lifeless and broke I am. I know I know. Most people have it way worse... got it. But I feel like I've let myself down. I've done nothing note worthy. Nothing that is moving me forward in life. but I feel like I hit a wall. There is nothing pointing me in the right direction. Nothing is telling me that my boat is about to sink. Learning how to swim would probably be the first step in my journey but can't someone be of some help and toss me a life raft? A noodle even? I mean my boat is sinking here and your telling me that there is no one there to throw me some slack?
Complaining does not solve a thing. I can rant all i want about what wasn't handed to me, but the reality of the situation is that I'm not getting out there and taking what I deserve. I have talents. I have skills. I have sooooo many issues. But the only thing that is holding me back and ever will is me.
Does that mean that I no longer get to compare and complain? Does anyone ever do that about me? Will I or someone ever fix the distorted image of the world that's embedded in my mind? I need help. Please.
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RandomAre you angry tonight? confused? why? i will never understand. soon we will have the answer to it all but only through self discovery and exploration of your most honest thoughts.
