Her House, My Rules

Chapter 29

Betrayed?

Broken?

Angry?

Destroyed?

Speechless?

In ancient tone, all of the above.

A stranger's words have no value but it can destroy your view with dangerous clues.

My saliva swallowed my temper slowly in my arid throat. Hazel was pleaded guilty in my mind. My heart waved by the ocean of darkness. My vivid brain blamed my eyes for being so blind. My only dark secret was floating in the enemy's boat.

Was I swimming?

Or maybe drowning?

Heavy words were too light to feed my emptiness. Hurry pain, I need you. Goodbye happiness, I blame you. Cancer is the worst poison of life but the pain is the remedy of death. It hurts, it kills you inside but you'll learn to love it because it stays in forever and forbids itself to replace you.

I can explain, she said, I can explain, Babe.

Well, can you, traitor? Can you really explain?

I respected your father, I loved your mother but I worshipped you, Hazel. I praised you like a goddess. I trusted you like the Holy God from Heaven. I gave my life to you as if you were the creator of death. I gave my last saliva to your selfish lips.

I turned myself into a beast to devour the meat between your legs.

When your vagina was screaming for more? Didn't I break every single bone inside you?

How could you be so selfish, Hazel? When I gave you all of me. How could you hide the truth from me when I've shown you my pain? How could you betray me like that? How can I even trust you with my secret now? Was your love real? Was it all an act? Was I just a game?
I was eating on the enemy's table and yet, why didn't they poison me?

Mr. Dean was a free man and my dear father was buried under the cold ground.

Ana, my invisible mother left the room with a scary look on her face.

"Please, just listen to me." Tears greeted her eyes, suddenly as she tried to reason me. "Let me just explain myself." My teeth squeezed against each other, my jaw clenched, my angry eyes couldn't stop staring at the traitor.

I was speechless. I just couldn't say a word. I was still here next to her. I just couldn't move. My heart just wouldn't leave her behind. I was fighting my feelings to go away but I just couldn't hate her. I wish I could just say it with a good meaning. I wish I could lie and say that I hated her but I just couldn't.

Deep inside, I was broken. Her voice was poisoning my blood with her lies and excuses.

"Hawk, babe." She started with her broken voice. "Baby, please. Give me a few minutes."

"My fucking name is Hawk Wale," I yelled, angrily. "We're over. Hazel Brown. O-V-E-R." I shook my head side to side, negatively" I'm done with you. I hope you take a good look at my face because that's the last time you're going to see this face."

"Please, please." Her voice cried out. I stopped and tried my best not to give in. It was really hard to walk away from someone you really care about and like with all your heart. I liked this girl so much, I never thought that she was capable of hiding the dirty truth from me. I should've known that women are instruments of lies and betrayals. I should've closed my door and threw away the key. I opened my door and she destroyed the only key that was protecting me from love.