I Can't Be The Alpha's Mate

Chapter 14- Dear Alpha

In here we are going to get a little from both worlds, some of Katarina before we switch over to Rafe. ALSO!! I added a song to the side to kinda set the mood of the chapter and the characters' emotions. Hope you enjoy!!

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I had told Rafe I would think about staying, and he had kept a pretty close eye on me the rest of the day, but by now he was fast asleep. I couldn't stay where I was, it wouldn't help me heal. I needed to leave this place to clear my head. I wasn't sure how long I was going to leave for, who knew if I would actually come back at all. I ducked out of the house and made my way around, lingering outside Rafe's window before heading into the trees.

I slipped away undetected after waiting for the patrol to move. I didn't know where I was going, but I just knew I needed some time to myself to think things through.

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—Rafe—

I had been tossing and turning all night. I hadn't slept well since Katarina had said she wanted her own room, and even less so after the whole situation with Aphrodite. I knew it hadn't been right, and I honestly didn't know why I had allowed it to happen.

There had been something scracthing at the back of my mind, a seed of doubt that I wasn't good enough for Katarina, she had seen me as a monster on that first day and really, I was. I killed people, I destroyed packs, it was for the safety of my own people, but that didn't clean away the blood I spilled. The way she had looked at me when she first saw me, when she had finally heard my name and knew who I was, she had looked at me with revulsion.

I hadn't known how I could possibly make sure I was good enough for her. In my mind I knew there would be some way that I would mess everything up, and I had. I had gone beyond messing everything up. Katarina had nearly left me and I don't know what I would have done if she had.

She had every right to be pissed at me and Aphrodite, and honestly, what she had done yesterday really impressed me. Katarina was really sexy when she was pissed, however to have that fury locked on you, not the best feeling in the world.

I was jerked out of my thoughts and half assed sleep by a knock on my door.

"What?"

"Sir," Ty said from the door.

"What is it?" I asked slightly annoyed.

"She's gone."

I sat straight up in my bed turning my full attention onto my Beta.

"Say that again," I snarled, giving him the chance to retract his words. Ty looked like he wanted to be anywhere but right where he was, giving me the information.

"Katarina's room, sir. It's empty, and her bag is gone. We caught a faint scent leaving the house and going deep into the woods."

"Then follow it," I said through gritted teeth.

"We tried, but it died off. She wasn't anywhere near here."

I felt the vain in my forehead popping out with my rage. She had left after all. I thought I was going to have the chance to try and fix things, but she wasn't going to let me. I needed her, I needed her with me. I wanted her with me.

"She left a note though," Ty said stepping forward and placing the paper beside me. Katarina's neat scrawl scratched out my name in a black pen. I hesitantly reached out and unfolded the paper.

Rafe,

I'm sorry to be doing this, I truly am. I know I promised to think it through, but I just couldn't stay there with you anymore. I need some time to clear my head and think things through. I understand that you have a life there with your pack, you have a history with everyone, including Aphrodite...as much as I hate to admit it. That doesn't excuse what you did to me or to her.

I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing, I just know that I need some time away from you, away from us. I need to figure out if there's even room for an us in all of this. I can't be that girl who's just on the side while her boyfriend runs around with another girl, I won't let that happen.

All of this happened so fast, without any time to really think about it. I just stumbled upon your pack one night and the very next morning I awoke to find out the most feared Alpha was my mate. It's been a lot to take in for me, and it seems to be quite the adjustment for you as well.

I'm not saying goodbye for good, dear Alpha. But I am saying goodbye for now. I will find you some day in the future.

Good luck to you,

Katarina Reynolds

I read the note over twice, taking in each and every word. She was gone. She didn't know when she would be coming back to me.

I didn't know what to do, I felt like I couldn't function anymore. Like my world had just been ripped out from under me. How could I have done this, how could I have possibly let myself cause this?

It was like I knew that I couldn't be a good enough person for her and I had done everything I could to prove that to her. And now she believed it and she was gone.

"- ceremony for later this week?"

"What?" I had been consumed by my dark thoughts that I hadn't even realized Ty had been talking to me.

"The Luna ceremony," he said as if trying to jar my memory.

"Cancel it," I replied as if that were clearly obvious. It should have been to him at least. He had known about Katarina and myself. He had known about it all.

"But Sir, if you don't have a Luna...what about the pack?"

"I have done fine on my own this long. I don't need anyone else by my side. There is only one person who is meant to stand in that place, and she has left."

"We can't be without a Luna forever, you know you were growing weaker,"

"It won't be forever!" I growled at him, feeling my wolf pulling toward the surface. Ty was starting to walk on thin ice. If he knew what was best he would stand down.

"But you don't know if or when Katarina will return. What if by then it's too late?"

"Well then I suppose we better hope it isn't. Cancel the ceremony." I turned away as if the conversation was finished, as far as I was concerned, it was.

I didn't wan't Aphrodite's ceremony to continue, I didn't want her anywhere near me anymore. I was finished with her. I couldn't keep going in circles with her as I had all these years. Because of the connection I had with her, I had severely damaged the blooming relationship with Katarina. I couldn't let that go any further.

Something needed to change.

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Well there's a little insight into our man right here. What are your thoughts with getting into his head?

Commen, vote, and fan please!! :D