Woman Born, Woman Torn

Chapter 5: If you can't find love at home, seek it elsewhere

A little love goes a long way; the complete lack of it, even further...in the opposite direction. Empathy isn't just for strangers, it's for family too; same goes for sympathy and compassion. One once of kindness could have made all the difference. A butterfly kiss on the forehead, a warm embracing hug, an encouraging pat on the head, or even a proud smile; Josie didn't need to know what love was in order to miss it. She daydreamed of it constantly; starving for affection, even if she didn't have a clue how to handle it...should it ever arrive.

She may have loved Scooby-Do but despite how her parents treated her, she wasn't a dog. In spite of her appetite, she wasn't Shaggy either.  Chubby-cheeked Josie was quite cute; in fact might tolerable. It may have been her saving grace; for a cute girl, no matter how shy, will eventually attract a boy.

At the the nearly over the hill age of nine Josie received her first kiss. Brave hearted Wayne ran up to her during recess and planted one right smack on her lips! It wasn't love or even curiosity. It was a dare. It was also stolen...and hot.

Ambushed, blushing Josie hardly responded as expected. She smacked him one right back...with her small tight thick fingered fist. Wussy Wayne ran away with tears, a bloody lip, and a new nick-name. Betwixt bewildered and thrilled, Josie pursued Wayne, hot on his tail yelping, "If you've given me cooties, I'll clobber you again!"

Boys, exciting and new but also jerks, every last one. Since her tenth year on this planet wasn't too lucky when it came to boys, Josie turned to daydreaming for her daily romantic fix. Like most preteen girls, fairytales did come true...in her ever-loving mind. Josie hoped, she prayed, she wished upon every falling star...and yet no signs of royalty ever appeared on her horizon. 

Prince Charming come and sweep me off my feet. Please, pretty please with sugar on top. I'm waiting just for you. Toiling her way through fifth grade, Josie tended to think more of the pretty horsey her dream prince was riding than on him. His brown-eyed steed remained golden with matching blonde mane and tail; whereas the Prince's hair, skin, and eye color changed daily.

The world is what you make of it. If you can't do anything with what you've got, why not create a world of your very own? Josie daydreamed much of her childhood away; her lack of possessions as well as friends left her no choice. Tea for two or a thousand; it didn't really matter since the teas was as imaginary as her company.

Figuring out George and Matilda were the cheapest parents in town wasn't too hard. Judging by what the other parents gave their kids, Josie's folks must have been the stingiest in the world. The Toys for Tots program was created for kids just like her; too bad her parents didn't see it that way.

As to the reasons for friendly Josie's failure to gather a posse of her peers: Josie's lack of toys certainly didn't help. Her parents alone were sufficient friend-repellents; add to that their miserly money-grubbing rules and regulations and see what others failed to: Josie could only bathe at home once a week to keep the water bill down; her stench making her all the more unapproachable; not to mention making her all the more target to tease. Eventually pigpen Josie realized her bold-faced parents were lying when they claimed children didn't truly stink until they reached puberty. After that self-revelation Josie showered as best she could at school. But she still remained more upset at her limited television time on her limited 9 inch screen and extra-early bedtime clearly established to keep power bills down.

As to seeing things clearly, what teenage girl does? Her lack of toys she did blame on her parents; especially at Christmas and on birthdays. But as to her lack of pals to play with: Josie blamed that entirely on herself. Her sole status in life must have been her fault. She must be defective, a reject that no one wanted. Why else would her parents say so so many bad things about her?