Dickhead Syndrome

The Confession

As I finished telling Cameron who I really was he spoke " so you can take punches and kicks by your mom but you didn't tell anyone and when you were being hurt at school you hid that from me. And then when you were just about raped you tried to distance me. And than I figure out you have a secret life? That's just as dangerous as this?"

I looked at him guilt filled my walls. " I had to protect you. If people knew you knew who I am you would be in danger all the time. I know multiple people who think of getting revenge on me. And I can't let you get into it. Everyone is protected in our gang. If word got out that I was being bullied and that I was abused no one would take me seriously. That's why I have so many secrets. I have hidden so much from you. But it's good. It's to help you. The less you know the more your safe." He looked at me. I felt this was going to be the end of our relationship. He moved close to me.

"I'm sorry for not being able to understand. But I hope I will in the future." As he stepped another step close to me he moved his arms around my back.

"I love you and I just want to know how many secrets do you have?" Too many. Too many for him to know. I can't get him in trouble. If he knows anymore. Maybe he can know one secret. But it's another secret identity.

"Many more but I cannot tell you all of them. I have to make sure you are the one before I expose more. But one I can tell you and if you want to know one more I shall speak it." He looked at me.

"I love you. Which means I want to know all of your imperfections all of your hidden identities all of your secrets all of your lies. All of your thoughts. All of your feelings."

"So what you saying is you want to know." He nodded.

"Can I have your phone?" He handed it to me. I used his passcode and got in it. I went to his Instagram. I wrote my username. I showed him. "This is another of my secrets. I have a secret account. Only to draw. I hope you understand this way no one can bias my work because no one knows who I am. And no one will ever be able to until I have reached my goal of my followers and this way I will reveal to them who I am. I also do this to get a real opinion on who likes what more and what drawings or paintings should I do more."

He moved his hand towards mine. He grabbed and squeezed. "Is this just on Instagram?" My gut twisted. "It's also on Facebook in case people see it and don't have insta."

He looked at me and he smiled. "I knew those where your drawings!!!" What!? He knew!!?

"Um. What do you mean. How did you know when di-" he cut me off by laughing.

" I knew you wouldn't tell me the truth until you fully trusted me. Man your face when I told you I knew. Was so good. I thought if I were to ask you, you would deny it and therefor lie to me." He spoke. I took his words into consideration.

That's when John came into the room. He told me he had a secret. And that he wanted us to go somewhere. He blindfolded both of us. He drove us to somewhere than he took of my blindfold. And he took off Cameron's. As we got out of the car the people where awaiting us outside. And they were not original people. "This girl beat me. And it is one of our laws. To confess ones defeat." As the people started muttering. Something awoke in my belly. I felt something inside. Something inside that was the extreme opposite of good. I felt it trickle in my stomach. I felt my mind go places where it shouldn't have. I felt my thoughts scream their way from the front of my head to the back. They were running. But from what. What had them scared. What got them to act like this. I then felt it in my tummy. My stomach felt worse. I looked at the people in the crowd. I couldn't hear their voices no more. I looked at Cameron he was speaking to me. I couldn't hear his voice as I realized I couldn't hear anything my heart started to pound harder and faster. Each thump tugged at my breathing. Was this a panic attack!? Then I fell to the ground. I awoke to Cameron's voice. "Babe!"

"I can hear your voice!" His face showed he was confused. I shook it off. "Never mind."

Then John started to speak. "When someone is defeated one gets replaced by that victor. I am the leader of this gang. So what do you think is fair. Should she replace me and I go to second base or should something else happen." My gut twisted. He was the leader....

Chapter 2

Dear diary.

I bought a shot gun. One of those ones that look like FBI. I just hope one day she will see my face. All we have to do it get a map of the school. Get masks. And protective gear and await her arrival at school. This is going to be some new shit.