All feedback is welcome, and well-appreciated. This is a short-story I wrote trying to imitate Roald Dahl's writing style in his more macabre and thrilling stories. There's also a twist with the names and the flight name, all the names have been carefully chosen to represent another text I really like.
Don rushed Mina in to the boarding room, knowing that if they made one more stop in a shop, they would not make the flight. He took one last look at the board displaying the flights for today, only one flight was displayed: TORS Embark. This made him extremely nervous, and he hoped to leave this place as soon as possible. The worried couple released a sigh of relief as they made it on-board the plane. A flight stewardess checked their tickets, and let them through one by one.
“Welcome aboard Mina Murray, enjoy your flight!”
As she read Don’s name and looked at his passport picture, she began to stutter in an indescribably nervous manner.
“W-Welcome aboard Don Carlo T-T-Taucu.”
Not recognizing the stewardess, Don disregarded this and followed his wife to their seats. Lighting a cigarette, he let out a relaxed sigh, no longer stressed. He takes a look at the neighboring passengers, a young couple in their mid-twenties.
After take-off, everything was relatively calm, Mina almost falling asleep on the light-blue plane seats, and Don lighting his third cigarette so far. The same stewardess that greeted them came by with a trolley filled with beverages. After serving the co-passengers, she hands Don a glass of water and asks Mina what she wants.
“What? You’re asking her but not me? I don’t want water! Serve me a glass of red wine!” Don says, as he notices this.
“I’m sorry sir, but I’m just following instructions. The list said specifically to serve you water” she lies. She directs her attention back to Mina and asks her what she wants once more.
“She will have a glass of water.” Don says.
“Y-yes… A water, please.” She says nervously. Her husband scares her, and she’s never seen him like this.
Don was a dark-haired man with short, think hair and a black moustache. He had his moments of tenderness but on occasions like these, he could become very merciless. Mina, with her long, golden hair, had grown to dislike, if not hate this man over a month ago when she caught him going to another woman’s house after work every day. She had not told him she knew, but she would when the plane had landed.
“Why do you have to make such a big deal out of everything?” Mina said aggressively.
“Oh, shut up woman.” He responded. Not an unexpected response, but still hurtful to Mina’s ears.
It seems the neighboring passengers were also getting tired of Don’s behavior, as she overheard them asking the stewardess to re-locate them. The stewardess responded due to some reason Mina could not hear.
“Did you catch her name?” Don asks out of nowhere
“Huh?” responds a confused Mina
“That woman’s name. Did you read the name tag?”
“Lucy Westenra.” She said. She always noticed things like these, even without trying. Any other person on the plane would not remember, for example, things like the plane’s flight number, or the white roses that the old lady they walked past in the airport was holding. While Don continues to complain to himself, Mina notices the stewardess next to their seats again. As the stewardess gives Mina her plate of food, she makes sure that her husband sees this, and equally as sure that he doesn’t receive one.
“What game are you playing, lady? Where’s my food?” he complains.
“I’ll be sure to check the computer system as soon as I can, sir.” She smiles and moves on to the next seat.
Mina knows the stewardess can hear her. She picks up her husband’s pills and shakes the box a bit. As she sees the stewardess directs her attention to her, she starts to speak to Don.
“Funny aren’t they? These pills. You need to take one every day to stay healthy, but if you take three at the same time, you’ll just die. I think that’s strange. Maybe you should take yours now?”
“A grumpy mutter escapes the husband’s mouth as he puts one of the pills in his mouth and swallows a whole glass of water.
A few minutes pass, and Don feels the water making an attempt to escape. He makes his way down to the lavatories and locks himself in. Looking around, Mina spots the stewardess and calls for her.
“Excuse me, I’d like another drink!”
“Certainly Miss, what would you like?”
“A glass of red wine for my husband. He’ll be back from the bathroom any minute now,” she hands the stewardess the money, along with three pills concealed within the paper-bill. The stewardess smiles and makes her way back to the fridge room. She takes out a wine-glass and drops the pills in, one by one. With every pill, a loud ‘pling’ follows, in high contrast to the low, buzzing sound of the airplane’s engines.
Mina is startled by Don sitting down again,
“It’s just me, Mina. Calm down.” He says.
“Ohh, yes. Sorry.” She says. Her voice increasingly stressed. What if the stewardess tells him? Surely not… She wouldn’t do that. She could feel it. That stewardess hated him just as much. Mina’s worries are put to rest as she sees the stewardess walking towards them with a glass of bright red wine.
“I checked the computer, and it seems there was an error. Here is your wine, as requested Sir.”
“It’s about time. I won’t be flying with this company again! And have your supervisor know, I will sue you for this!” he replies.
“Yes sir, I’m sure you will.” She says, with a humored voice. Mina notices a wink from the stewardess. She doesn’t know whether she should look forward to what’s about to happen or not. There is no time to react, he swallows all the wine in one go and before he’s even leaned his head back, he’s blacked out. She spots the last breath escape him, as she realizes what she’s done. Scared of what’s about to happen, she closes her eyes to sleep. She is woken abruptly by the plane’s shaking, and one image remains on her head. Everybody exiting the plane upon its landing but one. A loud cackle from the stewardess.
Too startled to realize what’s really happening, Mina wipes a tear off of her worried face. She dares not look to her husband, but as soon as she hears the screams from the passengers she realizes what’s happening. She peeks out of the window and witnesses land. Lots of it. Green trees… rocky areas… sandy, wet beaches… All coming towards them in such speed. A loud scream escapes her as the plane crashes into the land.
