Ocean Eyes

c h a p t e r f o u r t e e n

A chaotic silence.

My head was pounding, creating a war against my body.

An uncomfortable freezing warmth started traveling throughout my entire being.

As if the feeling couldn't decide between the two, so created something excruciating.

I felt helpless, there was nothing I could do.

I didn't even know where I was.

It seemed as if my body was not even there.

Only the painful burning that accompanied me, and mocked my suffering.

It was a deathly silence wherever I was, but I did not feel calm or comforted like I usually did.

It was a war against myself, and yet I felt like I wasn't even a part of it.

It was a weird feeling.

My thoughts quieted down for once as if they were as shocked as I am.

Hours, days, years passed by.

Because it was only me and me only in this place.

Is this death?

Just a never-ending eternity with only the silence?

Even my thoughts and voice abandoned me.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to feel the tears slide down my cheeks as a hoarse sob escaped my lips.

I wanted to feel my arms hold my knees as I tried to comfort myself.

Or feel the furrow when my eyebrows furrow in pain.

But none of those things were there.

And then, a thought appeared.

It was so silent, so quiet, but in this place, it sounded loud and clear.

Where am I?

I was brought down to this world and wasn't floating anymore.

I felt my body and the weight bring me down.

An emotion appeared.

As if it was always there, but woke up at the thought of me laying on.

And then I finally heard something I missed.

A breath.

I felt the air making its way through the pathway, and fill my lungs.

As if it was always there or wasn't, but only at this second did I finally notice it.

I felt a wetness on my cheeks and then my mind recognized the feeling.

A tear.

Something my being, my consciousness earned for.