Short Stories And More

So Sick

I'm so sick of being sad

I'm so sick of how every song reminds me of you

Reminds me of what used to be

Maybe you don't notice

My emotions are running wild

And when the memories become too much

My tears flow like a waterfall

.

I'm so sick of missing you

I'm so sick of all of the memories, the feelings

I know it may not seem that way

But I'm still hurting

And I realize I'm far from over you

You pushed me into talking

When I wasn't ready yet

.

I'm so sick of tensing up around you

I'm so sick of cowering

Whenever you -or anyone for that matter- move your arms

Even just when you talk

Or you just simply stand next to me

Flashbacks cloud my mind

Your face, hurt written all over it

Your hand, coming out of nowhere

Your retreating back, disappearing in the crowd

My heart, shattered

.

I'm so sick of my feelings

Changing every single second

I'm so sick of that feeling as if I can't breathe when we talk, as if I'm not supposed to

When we try to act as if nothing's wrong

Or is it just me?

And above all, I absolutely hate

That I can't hate you