Sakura (How to Obtain a Reverse Harem in Naruto)

Yukie's Ship

"I am on a seafood diet. I see it, and I eat it."

-Anonymous

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I wish I did, though.

Warning: I have mangled the plot. Say goodbye to the plot everyone. It'll be killed off entirely in the Save Itachi and Pinch Kisame's Ass arc.

Praise be to the Goggle Gods.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

I was officially 1 for 3 out of movie royalties joining my harem.

Darn priestess rejected my offer as soon as we finished escorting her. I even used all my best flirting tactics—which made Naruto howl with laughter on multiple occasions, Neji try to keep a poker face but fail, and Lee to struggle not to snicker—but it was to no avail.

We finished our mission, completed the movie without a single friggin issue because we killed the bad guys right off the get-go, and my team had to watch me get rejected by the soft tsundere.

Unfair.

Oh, well. Hopefully she would still have a long and happy life, and maybe one day in the future she and Cutie Mc'Cute stuff would change their minds and join me in my awesome harem.

We returned to Konoha, and after dropping off our mission report, I headed home.

"Darlings, I'm home!" I sang out with gusto. Brightheart yipped and dashed over to greet me, wagging her patchy tail with glee. To my delighted surprise Kimimaro also came to greet me, "Oh, hello there, pumpkin pie."

"Welcome home," Kimimaro said shyly. "I've been reading a lot of your medical texts."

"Oh, yeah? Wanna be a doctor?"

"Yes."

'Whoa. Did not expect—actually, given his pacifist nature, becoming a doctor sounds perfect for him.'

With a splitting over my face, I raised my hands into two thumbs up. "Okay. Why don't you tag along with me to the hospital this weekend?"

He smiled.

Kimimaro smiled.

'Goggle Gods, thank you for this blessing,' I thought to myself, unable to resist leaping at the pretty boy and hugging him tightly.

"I'm going to treat you so well," I whispered to him.

He hugged me back.

Kimimaro hugged me back.

With the sweetest voice he said, "I know."

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Barely a week later, and I had invited my team over for lunch. Sai politely declined since he had to report to a certain little warmonger, but Naruto gleefully accepted.

Tenzou took the opportunity to give himself a break from me since there would be plenty of strong shinobi at home to watch over me. The poor dearie looked so happy about that, even ignoring the betrayed glare Kakashi shot at him.

Once Naruto showed up, I set to cooking, merrily chatting with him and Kakashi while I worked. A pleasant ten, or fifteen minutes went by before we were joined by another guest.

Hinata stepped into my home while I went about making lunch for my dear, dear companions. I could sense her chakra before I saw her—of lilacs and warm summer ponds—and when she entered the kitchen she did so with her head held high. "Sa-chan! I lead a mission by myself, and succeeded."