Expiration date (Editing...Again!!)

Chapter eighteen

Chapter eighteen.

Jet and Anna sat in the Holden Ute on the way to the dump. Jet had the radio on low because his mum is scared of loud music. He didn’t know why. Sometimes she would brake out in body shaking tears, or she would flip out and cut the music.

Jet wanted to bring the subject up so he reached out and turnd the sound up a little more. Anna shifts uncomfortably in her seat but doesn’t say anything. Still looking at the road, Jet paused his lips and turned it up more. The music had gone from a background noise to something you could sing too. Anna was bitting her lip and Jet felt a little bad for making her squirm. Jet opens his mouth to ask her what was wrong but Anna beat him to it.

“Please turn it down.” She said shortly.

“Mum…”

“I’m not talking about it with you.” She said finally. Jet glanced at his mum to see her looking out the side window. Jet couldn’t see her face but he had a feeling she was trying not to cry.

“Sorry.” Jet told her than dropped the subject all together. He turned off the music and the car stays silent until they reach the dump.

Jet threw the tree branches into the pile at the dump while his mum stood by. They had no gloves and Jet didn’t want her to hurt her hands. Occasionally Anna would tell Jet that he had missed a branch but other than that, they hardly talked.

Rose’s mum sat on her bed by her legs and Marcus sat in the chair Jet always sat in.

“How are you feeling today, baby?” Irene asked. Rose was sick of this question. There was only one answer and it was worse than last time they asked her.

“I feel great mum. Like I could get up and run a marathon.” Rose attempted sarcasm.

“Don’t be silly.” Irene sighed and rubbed her red eyes. She hadn’t slept much and tears always threatened to spill from her eyes.

“Then don’t ask a silly question.” Rose shot back.

“What happened to being a family? To being nice to each other?” Marcus asked voice stern. He had had enough of Rose’s bad attitude. Both him and Irene had been with her as much as possible. They had been as nice as they could ever be. Only that’s not what Rose wanted, it was never what she wanted, hence why she had pushed her friends away. She didn’t want people pitying her or being overly nice. Rose wanted to be treated like a normal person. To stop another fight breaking out, Rose bit her tongue and looked at her journal.

“I want to write in my journal.” Rose told her parents. They left after giving her a kiss each. Rose reached over with shaky hands and wrapped her thin fingers around a pen and the book. She took a deep breath and picked them both up. The small movement looked pain filled; such a simple thing proved too hard for Rose. She was stubborn though and ended up with the dairy in her lap and pen in her grasp, ready to write.

Dear Diary,

I’m hurting…physically…mentally…in everyway. My parents are babying me all the time and it makes me so mad. Isn’t feeling helpless enough? Do others have to remind me of it? I so badly just wish I were normal. I wish I were healthy again.

I am trying not to give in mentally because I know I’m strong-minded. I am thinking things that I wish I wasn’t…like ending it all. I know it’s wrong and it scars me but how I’m feeling is not making it easy.

I hate being alone, because the thoughts just keep coming. I never want Jet to leave me. And sometimes when my parent’s leave and Jet’s not here yet, I cry, because I don’t want to dye alone. Jet promised that he would be here when I died. I know it’s terrible but the thought of dying with no one with me makes the heart monitors race and my palms sweat.