“Ugh,” Lauren groaned as she dropped down into the empty seat beside Camila in Monday’s homeroom. It had been four days since the girls’ had gathered at Camila’s house for their regular Wednesday night movie marathon. Four days and yet Lauren still could not rid her thoughts of the conversation that had transpired between them all. Most prominently featured in her mind were Camila’s words, “I’d love to know someone liked me.” Was there ever a more perfect opportunity for Lauren to admit her feelings for Camila? Lauren didn’t think so. In fact, she’d lived in a constant state of regret since that night, visions of fictitious scenarios and responses, all favourable, formulating in her head. It didn’t help that Camila, who remained almost completely unaware of
Lauren’s ever increasing crush on her, managed to rub salt in the constantly growing wound by unintentionally being an infuriating paradox of adorable and sexy all at the same time. Every day Lauren would find herself learning something new about Camila and she soaked the information up eagerly like a sponge. She wanted to know everything there was to know about this girl who, only a couple of months ago she’d never even spoken to, but, now, she couldn’t fathom her life without.
“Ugh, back at you,” Dinah replied jokingly. She was sat at the desk in front of Camila, Ally beside her, in front of the seat Lauren now occupied, and had looked up at hearing her somewhat dramatic entrance.
“What’s wrong?” Ally asked.
“I’m just over today already,” Lauren moaned resting both arms on her desk and leaning down to place her head on top of them.
“Why?” Ally asked. “What happened?”
“Well firstly,” Lauren said, turning her head slightly to look at the girl in front of her. “I woke up late and had to skip breakfast so I’m starving and then I get accosted in the corridor by Rachel Murphy.”
“Rachel? Your not so out of the closet exgirlfriend?” Ally asked surprised.
“The one and only,” Lauren said sitting back up and sighing heavily. It was only then that she noticed that Camila, her nose buried in a copy of Harper Lee’s ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ was silently holding out a granola bar across the gap in the desks.
“Thanks,” Lauren said taking the snack gratefully and opening it up. Camila didn’t answer, her attention focused intently on the book in her hands and Lauren frowned slightly before turning back towards Ally and Dinah as the latter girl asked teasingly,
“Did she push you up against the lockers?”
“What? No,” Lauren replied. “She asked me out on a date.”
“So?” Ally asked. “What’s the problem? I thought you only broke up with her because she wasn’t ready to come out?”
“Yes,” Lauren admitted, “but that was
then, you know, before….” Lauren flitted her gaze towards Camila who remained enthralled in her book. She was biting her bottom lip in concentration and her brow was furrowed.
“So you’re going to pass on an actual relationship for a nonexistent one?” Ally asked her. “Lauren…”
“Don’t Lauren me,” she remarked, leaning back in her chair a little so that it was resting precariously on its back legs. “I don’t feel that way about her any more. I haven’t even thought about Rachel at all since, well, you know.”
Ally glanced at Camila quickly before returning her attention to Lauren. “What’s the harm in going on one date?” Ally asked seriously. “It’s not like you’re getting anywhere with your current crush. It might be fun. Maybe it’ll even help you to get over it.”
