Flower Curse // Shingeki no Kyojin

Ⅳ

YOUR HEALTH WASN'T AN EXCUSE TO NOT DO YOUR JOB. Erwin wanted you to rest until there was a solution— but you weren't going to obey him. You didn't want to slack off and be the center of attention, you just wanted to stay off radar by everyone. Especially, by your illness' cause:

Levi.

Just thinking of him made you sick and warm— yes, you liked him a lot, loved him, even. But the other part of you made you repulsed of him. You thought the cause of that repulsion was the curse you had, but sometimes, you just wanted to stop loving him. Just to stop the suffering.

But that was impossible, wasn't it? You just can't change your feeling for someone in an instant, even less when that love existed for a long time. The only thing you could do was hide your feelings in the darkest place of your heart, along with your flowers' company. Hide them from prying eyes, away from everyone. Just your emotions, the flowers and you.

Was this illness really going to kill you? After all you have been through? You didn't want to believe this at all— flowers were more deadly than a stupid titan! Unbelievable. How could it be? Flowers filling your lungs just for unrequited love? You had a hard time believing this ridiculous "curse". But, sadly, this was as real as the titans.

But then... how come nobody knew about this illness? Was this another thing the King hide? How could this be real?

A knock on the door snapped out of your thoughts. "Come in," You said, rubbing your temple in exasperation.

A blond picked shyly, then came in and saluted. "Squad Leader [Name], the Corporal is asking for your presence on today's training."

"Fuck," You instantly thought. You didn't remember today's task: help Levi with training. Was your luck better than yesterday? Or life was just laughing at you? You passed your hand on your hair, letting out a sigh. "Thanks, Arlert. We should be going or the grumpy old man is going to beat my ass."

Armin didn't laugh at your comment— the blond just nodded and smiled. The relationship with the cadets and you weren't that bad in your opinion. You enjoyed talking with the little kid about the outside world— something that was very forbidden to do. Arlert even had a book of the outside that shared with you, by your big surprise.

The kid was very clever; maybe as clever as Erwin. Something unnerving— could this young kid see the same thing Erwin couldn't see? Could he see your sickness? You noticed your face paled this morning. You wished to whoever to put a blindfold to everyone around you.

Leaving your office with Armin at your side, you jokingly asked, "How is training today? Is the Corporal harsher than before?"

"The Corporal is being a little... harsh, yes. But I don't see much difference as in other training," he placed a finger on his chin, looking thoughtful, "But he seemed a little irritated that you weren't there."

You whined internally. "Of course he is going to be like that. I forgot I had to help him with training," you nervously stated. "What's today's training for?"

"We are training with our Vertical Maneuvering Equipment."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." What was worse? Close combat or the damn VME? Both options sounded horrible, but using your gear at your current state made you nervous. When your system wanted to throw the flowers this morning, it didn't gave you any warning like before. You just couldn't contain the urge of throwing it all out. Would the sudden force of the gear make you vomit?

You hoped Levi didn't want you to make use your gear today. You always showed your cadets how to use the gear properly as an example, so when Levi wanted to explain something, you helped him showing the cadets your abilities. This wasn't looking good.