Flower Curse // Shingeki no Kyojin

Ⅱ

THE SECOND TIME WAS A CLOSE CALL. You were with Erwin and Mike in the mess hall, talking about the next expedition's tactics and groups. Somehow, Levi wasn't with you and was with his squad, possibly talking about the same topic as you three were. He wasn't that far from you so you could easily look at him and obviously, Petra sitting next to him with her sweet smile, looking at him with that idiotic face you hated so much.

You liked Petra— you truly did. But seeing her so close to him –knowing her true feelings– and he just keeping quiet about it... made you feel heartbroken and angry. You once did believe he could have seen you like a partner when you first met him, but it seemed that couldn't be. You thought you could have get close to him— did all of your attempts were for nothing? It seemed so. He didn't even looked at you; you were nobody to him. It upset you. You once were like Petra a long time ago before she joined the Survey Corps, but one gets the memo when you are not liked. Levi never did once noticed any of your signs, and when you saw how close they were getting you backed off and tried to forget.

But of course, forgetting wasn't something you can decide. Even less when these are your feelings— a heart decides alone, not with coherency.

You didn't mean to stare for too long. Erwin tried to get your attention when he noticed you weren't answering him anymore, confused by your lack of interest at such important subject.

"[Name], I asked what your thoughts were. Are you listening?"

You quickly began to blink and looked at him a little confused. "I'm sorry, Erwin. Didn't really hear you, what did you say?"

Erwin gave you a questioning look and followed where your gaze was a moment ago– just as he noticed who you were looking at, his expression softened as he sighed, returning facing you with a slight smirk. You gritted your teeth, irritated by such expression.

"So that's what's been keeping you distracted all day. I guess I expected it."

"It's nothing I can't handle, I'm going to get over it anyways." you shrugged and took a bite on the horrible bread, the taste making your face change in disgust. "And quit that dumb face!!"

Mike noticed your affections to the corporal right away. Somehow, your smell changed when you were with him or were watching him; it was confusing at first, but he understood it right away. But now, you smell different... and he couldn't recall the aroma. Was it... some flower? No— your scent was from old books and ashes. Flowers wasn't on it, but he's not so sure now...

"Well, 'getting over it' it's not easy, [Name]. I'm surprised he hasn't noticed, he usually does." Erwin says looking at you, raising an eyebrow.

"Whatever," you tried to change the topic because of all the cadets on the mess hall. It didn't matter if all the chatter from everyone was loud so you couldn't care about someone hearing your conversation, but there was always someone eavesdropping. Or maybe you didn't want to feel the pain in your chest when you talked about this? Which one was a the truest lie? "The expedition, you were talking about—" taking a last glance at Levi's table was a big mistake. What you saw made you feel your chest tightened; Levi and Petra hands were touching under the table, and you knew nobody but you noticed it. You suddenly felt sick— disgusting.

You coughing so harshly made your commander and comrade worried. While he was gently patting your back to help you, Mike gave you water from his cup, but stopped when he smelled the same scent he was thinking before— something soft... a flower he knows... but which one? Maybe daisies? No— it was so much different: something rare only royalty could have.

You felt something very wrong with you. Feeling like throwing up made you cover your mouth with your hand, you got up from the seat ignoring Erwin's worried questions and waking up Mike from his daze. You ran out of the mess hall as fast as you could, missing the confused and some worried looks some of the cadets gave you, including Levi's. Bu you didn't care at all, you wanted to get the hell out of there.