Johnny English

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“Wow Sir, don’t think I’ve been in this bad boy before!” Bough laughed, opening the car door to Johnny’s brand new blue shaded Mercedes. After they smashed the last one up, Johnny had no choice but to buy another one. Better, faster and hotter.

“Well Bough, I’m always telling you to buy your own. Life becomes so much better with a nice car, you wouldn’t believe it.” Johnny replied, and then got into the car, “Why don’t you?”

Bough got in and turned to face Johnny, “I don’t have that kind of money Sir. But I’m certainly going to start saving up. Definitely.” Bough nodded, reassuring himself that he will.

“Oh yes, of course.” Johnny nodded, beginning to drive, “So, we’re going down to Ellen’s house right? Have you got the directions? I bet it’s some kind of crap hole.”

“Yes Sir.” Bough said while plunging his hand around in his pocket. He pulled out a piece of paper, “Here Sir. Why don’t you have a Sat Nav Sir? It would be much easier.”

Johnny shook his head, frowning, “No it wouldn’t. It’s much easier like this, much clearer.”

Bough nodded, and then looked down at the paper, “Right Sir.”

“I’m always right Bough.” Johnny smiled, “We all know that.”

Bough shook his head, “No, right here Sir.”

Johnny looked at Bough, “What’s right here?”

“Turn right here Sir! Turn at this road!” Bough panicked, “Quick Sir you’re going to miss it!”

“Oh, calm down Bough.” Johnny said, turning sharp at the corner, causing everything in the car to fly to the side. There was a smashing sound at the back, and Bough turned around to see.

“Oh gosh. Looks like you’re going to have to buy another bottle of wine, Sir. And clean the car seats.” Bough mumbled, turning back around, “And mind the glass.”

“Great.” Johnny sighed, “Just read those directions and be more helpful Bough! This is your fault.” He groaned, as Bough just looked down at the map closely.

Once they made it to the house, Johnny and Bough left the car. Johnny looked around; the house wasn’t what he expected.  He approached the door, tapped it with his hand, and then watched it open.

Bough watched too, “Why was it open Sir? Surely no one would leave it open? I’d never leave my door open, do not trust anyone around here these days.”

Johnny shrugged, “Oh well, Ellen probably should. She was a weirdo.” He said, walking in, “Looks like she was a messy woman too.” Johnny said as he entered the living room. The sofa was upside down, and all the drawers were pulled out. Bottles of alcoholic drinks were all around the room.

Bough looked around in shock, and then his mind clicked, “No she wasn’t Sir, she was actually pretty clean. She was always cleaning up, and shower every day. She had to clean every plate up straight after she had finished eating.” Bough said, following Johnny closely behind, “This must be a break in.”

Johnny listened, and then stopped and frowned at Bough, “And how exactly would you know so much about her?”

Bough slowly shrugged, “I don’t know, just do. I think someone told me Sir,” he paused as there was a loud smashing noise coming from the kitchen. Bough took his gun out, “Stay back Sir.” He said jumping off out of the living room.

There was a gasping sound, and then, “There’s a woman Sir!” Bough shouted from the hallway.

Johnny rummaged in his pockets for his gun, and then sighed as he realised it wasn’t there. He went out the living room, tripping up on the rug on his way.

Bough turned to see Johnny on the floor. He glared at him in embarrassment for a moment, and then turned back around and pointed his gun back at the suspicious woman, pouting.

Johnny eventually got up, rubbing his head. He looked at the woman, “Wow. Hot hot hot.”

Bough grimaced at Johnny, then looked at the woman, “Who are you? And why are you in Ellen’s house?” He asked sternly.

The woman stood there blankly, clearly not knowing what to say. She had black hair, and was wearing all black clothes. Even her eyes looked black. The woman looked down.

Johnny laughed, taking the gun from Bough, “What are you doing? Can you not see her? She’s scared.”

Bough looked at him, watching his beloved gun being taken away. “What?”

“Just leave this to me.” Johnny replied, and then stepped forward and put Bough’s gun in his pocket. He looked at the woman, “Hey.”

The woman slowly looked up. She stared at Johnny for a moment, and then looked back down.

Johnny turned to look at Bough, “Perhaps she’s the neighbour.”

Bough shook his head, “I doubt it Sir.”

Johnny shook his head, and pointed to the door, “Doesn’t look the door has been kicked down for a break in, does it? She obviously has the key. Ellen must be on holiday!” He replied proudly as the woman began to slowly look back up from the floor.

The woman smirked at them, snatching the gun from Johnny’s pocket. She pushed Johnny backwards, causing him to flop over the kitchen side, and then hit Bough on the head with the bottom on the gun. Bough and Johnny both fell to the ground as the woman ran out.

A couple of hours after the knock out, Johnny began to wake. He opened his eyes to see everything spinning, like he was on a roundabout. He started to get his real vision a few minutes later, and then slowly pulled himself up from the ground.

Johnny scanned the room slowly, rubbing his head and groaning loudly. He spotted Bough on the floor, still knocked out with blood dripping from his nose. Johnny couldn’t believe a woman was capable of that, especially not the woman who done it.

Johnny took a box of tissues from the open cupboard. He threw them at Bough and said, “Time to get up?” but got no reaction or reply. Johnny sighed at Bough, “Lazy bastard.” He said while continuing to look around the kitchen.

A white sheet of paper stood out, sitting above the microwave. Johnny stepped over to it, and took it quickly. The handwriting was neat, used with a red pen. Suspicious, Johnny read through it,

Dear Ellen,

Please don’t be alarmed when you read this.

Nothing can happen if you do as we say.

You come to the given address, and everything will be fine.

But if you decide not to come, your parents and baby brother will most likely be harmed.

Address:

47 Yard Road

Lester Green

England

Be there before midnight, Ellen.

Johnny finished reading it in shock, and then quickly put it into his pocket. He carried on looking around, even more suspicious.

Bough began to wake up. He rubbed his eyes, squinting around and then up at Johnny. He looked back down and observed the tissues on the floor. He picked a few up, holding them to his nose. He looked back up at Johnny, “Sir, what happened?! We’ve got to find that woman!” He yelled, standing to his feet.

Johnny jumped, and then turned around and smiled, “I’ve got something even better.”

Bough nodded slowly, “What Sir?” He enquired.

“I’ve found a threatening letter to Ellen, with an address to go to. I won’t get it out now because I don’t want to lose it or anything.” Johnny bellowed in a boasting voice, “Let’s go.” He said and headed out the door.

“But Sir.” Bough followed, “What about the woman? The one who just attacked us for no reason? We need to know who she is and why she was in Ellen’s house.”

“Naah.” Johnny shook his head, “Forget about her, this is more important. You meet up with Jessica, take the letter with you. I'll find Sims.”