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It was raining again. This time it caused Brooke's mood to decrease. She was too tired and she was looking forward to her trip back home on her trusted bike. Now, it is impossible for her to cycle without the fear of crushing into something.
Brooke stared at the glass door with a pout, her expression childlike. It would have been comical to anybody passing by.
But it wasn't to Alistair.
He hid safely from the downpour in his black car, looking at Brooke as she thought and wondered about what she is going to do.
Alistair felt sick in the stomach at the thought of leaving her like that, all alone. Yet he was scared to approach her.
What if she says no?
He tried to convince himself that this isn't a big deal, he is just trying to be kind for the sake of being kind and not because he is getting anything out of it.
His heart wasn't complying, it wasn't responding to his rational reasoning and it beat so fast, it felt like it would leap out of his chest and run to her. His hands were beginning to get a little moist and shaky.
His body wasn't his when it comes to her.
And despite the anxiety and the warning signs, he got out of the car and marched towards her as confidently as he can master.
Brooke has noticed Alistair parked outside of the school for a while now but she tired her best to pay no attention to it.
They weren't friends anymore.
She needed to keep reminding herself that, she needed to remind herself that it was for his safety first and foremost and that's she's doing this for him.
But she can't help herself. She thinks of him every day, every awakening moment and it drives her insane.
Because she wanted to know him better, to learn about his past, pet peeves, favorite childhood memory and his guilty pleasure. She wanted to be the one to comfort him, the one who is always there for him, the one to hold his hand through thick and thin.
Instead, she is the one who is causing him pain.
Brooke is very empathetic, she feels for everybody and understands them which sometimes ridden her with guilt because she can't help everybody despite her trying. But she has never felt this amount of guilt before, the heart- crushing, soul-sucking and drowning one. It weighs her down and threatens to break her back. It affects her actions, her responses and her life. It barely lets her sleep at night as it tortures her with the what ifs and should haves.
Maybe she could have done better. Maybe she could have dealt with that situation better. But that's all that is left of it, the could haves.
Suddenly, the glass door next to Brooke was opened. She looked up not expecting to recognise the person but she did.
