Love Me Like You Do (z.h. mpreg)

chapter thirty-three

I call for you cultivation of strength in the dark.
Dark gardening
in the vertigo cold.
In the hot paralysis.
Under the wolves and coyotes of particular silences.
Where it is dry.
Where it is dry.
I call for you
cultivation of victory Over
long blows that you want to give and blows you are going to get.

Over
what wants to crumble you down, to sicken
you. I call for you
cultivation of strength to heal and enhance
in the non-cheering dark,
in the many many mornings-after;
in the chalk and choke.

-Gwendolyn Brooks, To Prisoners

-

Normal life had to resume sometime, and so Niall found himself back at work. The hospital in Bradford had closed, and so now he was at a hospital in Halifax, about twenty minutes away from home. He had hoped that with a new job he would get a fresh start, but beginning all over again had just added to the pile of stress and anxiety he was feeling due to his personal life. They had not left Ireland on a good foot, which again added to his rapidly growing sense of anxiousness and overall confliction. What would happen now? Niall hated feeling like that, not knowing what was going to happen in the future. He always needed to know, he always needed to have a plan or a routine before he could go ahead with anything else, so to be doing this blind was not helpful.

Luckily, today was a busy day, full of helping new life come into the world, and Niall didn't have much time to think about anything else except for the babies in his care.

-

The zoo wasn't particularly crowded that day, as it was a rather overcast day. It was still warm, but it was muggy and millions of gnats and mosquitoes hung in the air. It was a lazy Sunday, but Niall had been thinking about how grateful he had been feeling for the family he had here at home, and had suggested they go out and do something different for a change.

The boys seemed to be having fun anyway, and seeing them happy was all that really mattered to Niall. Going on family outings was something Niall never got to do as a child, and so he made a secret promise to all of his children that going out together would become a regular activity.

They were sat at a table by the open air cafe, and Niall was becoming more keenly aware of how much Zayn had been staring at him in the time since they had left the house. He looked unbearably cute in his baseball cap, long black tufts or jet black hair sticking out. His shorts showed off some off the hidden tattoos on his legs, and even in an old t-shirt he still somehow managed to make Niall's heart go mad. With as hectic as life had been recently, they hadn't really had much of a chance to be alone together.

Zayn got up to throw the rubbish from lunch away, and making sure the boys had more than enough sunscreen on, Zayn stuck out his hand for Niall to take. Niall grabbed it, then slung the backpack with Harry's things in it over his shoulder.

"Can we go to the giraffes now, Daddy, pretty please?" Liam begged, tugging on the hem of his shirt. He had been obsessing over them since they came, and Niall and Zayn had promised him they would go to feed the giraffes after a while.

"That's where we're going, sunshine." Zayn replied, gently tugging Liam's hand off of Niall's shirt. "You wanna go feed 'em?"

Liam nodded frantically, a million-watt smile spreading across his little face.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Zayn chuckled, glancing back at Niall to share a look. Niall felt a blush warm his cheeks, and he smiled back as he saw Louis run up and grab Zayn's free hand. Niall watched Zayn lead their boys gently by each hand up the path, patiently reading the signs out loud to them and waiting as they pointed out something else that caught their eye. Niall lagged behind a little on purpose, for the scene in front of him warmed his heart.