you remind me of true love.

lets get this thing started.

Ava's p.o.v.

It's her big day, the day she's moving to college, but everything she could think about were the scary new faces she would see, a roommate she probably wouldn't be able to live with and of course Beca and Chloe. She was always thinking about that two girls. They changed her, made her who she is today. (including being super gay of course) And they turned her into a crazy fanfiction writer, who already uploaded three different fanfics with over 30k reads and around 50 comments a day, who wants to become a real one one day. Ava is a person who can't leave anything unsolved or just to be unproductive for a moment and that's why she's writing about one chapter a day, just to give her readers what they want and need. Sometimes she wrote through the whole night and when her anxiety hit hard sometime she finished more and more chapters, her highscore was five chapters in one night and that was just the night before she and her dad left for college. That was when anxiety hit the hardest she ever had to face. School has already been pretty hard for her and every day was a torture, Ava was not sure what would happen if she would leave her comfort zone and moved two hours away from home to a place where she knew literally no one.

When their really old car rolled on campus like a slug, but with way more sound, she just pressed her face on the window, staring at the giant building, singing Titanium in her head and hoping she could just die right in that minute. People were running around like creeps in the big park in front of the big old (really old) building where she would wake up in the morning after, which she would have to call home from now on. Other one's were literally laying on the grass, pressing their ears on the ground, ava really didn't want to know what drugs they took. And then there were the one's she lowkey was able to identify with, who just sat in rounds reading big old books, but even if they could be good friends, Ava could never be brave enough to speak up to anyone of them or anyone else at this place.

As soon as the car stopped, Ava jumped out, grabbed a box of her stuff and sprinted into the building in front of her. All she wanted was to hide in her new room and crawl under the bedcover in her new bed and hope her new roommate would never show up.

Two minutes later she stood in front of dorm number 332, her new home. Somehow she wasn't able to open the door with the keys she already held in her hands, until her dad showed up with a much bigger box and begged her to open it before the box fell on his feet. Ava had to hold back a laugh, because typical for him he took the biggest box which was the one with the about hundred books in it. A writer and fangirl could never live without her book collection! And of course not without tons of merchandise and ten different versions of all the three Pitch Perfect movies. So even if she did not want to open the door, her dad literally forced her to do it so she put the key in trying to hide the weird shivering of her hand, she didn't want her dad to worry or stress around like he did some days ago.

"why is your hand shivering? Are you scared? Do you really think you are ready for this?" he would say and then he would try to make jokes about his own college life and how hard it was to make her feel okay for not being ready. Ava doesn't care how his college life was, he had not been gay, he didn't felt alone on this world except for internet friends and maybe family, he didn't had panic attacks every day, he just had not been a weirdo. And of course Ava hated it when he worried about her, doesn't he get that she WANTS to be ready and could never admit that she's not? Sometimes she just wished people would take her serious and just believe that she is capable of taking her own decisions.

It's difficult if you want to be independent but you're scared of it at the same time. People on the Bechloe Group-chat who had gone through the same used to say things like: "You're braver than anyone around you, because braveness is about facing your fears and you're facing your biggest fears every fucking day."