His fanboy ★ Changlix

44.

⚠️ contains thoughts of suicide ⚠️

Felix's p.o.v

We all rushed in and saw.

Blood everywhere.

On the bed, on the floor.

I noticed that it came from the arms and looked closer

I gasp as tears suddenly clouded my vision.

He's tried to kill himself.

Was this because of me?

Because he thought I hated him?

Please god no it can't be.

I still love him.

Chan's rung an ambulance.

I'm still sat next to changbin's unconscious body.

The tears and rolling down my cheeks.

Seungmin puts an arm around my shoulder which I cry into.

It's all my fault.

It should be me.

I should be the one who wants to die.

I deserve that.

Changbin didn't.

He deserves the world.

All the love.

I didn't give him what he deserved.

I got up and walked out the room.

I went outside.

I looked at the cars passing by.

Maybe if I just walked in front of one it'll end my suffering?

Maybe I'll just do what Changbin did.

If he does die I'll die with him.

Since it's my fault anyways.

I want to be with him.

Dead or alive.

If he does I die.

That's all I'm thinking.

I see the ambulance pull up and paramedics run past me.

They bring Changbin out on a stretcher and into the van.

Hyunjin runs past me and jumps in the back of the ambulance with them.

Chan pulls me towards the car so we could follow.

I didn't want to.

Changbin didn't want me there.

He's like this because of me.

He hates me.

He wants me dead, everyone does.

I'm worthless, I'm holding the group back and I could've killed my best friend cause of what I did.

Maybe if he lives and I die he'll be happier without me.

I'm better off dead.

~~

I'm still haha suicidal.

Maybe if I feel better later today I'll do a happy ending if not... it's gonna be a sad one

(Next chapter....last chapter)