Obsession (Obsessive behavior) - UNDER CONSTRUCTION

OBSESSION XXVI

OBSESSION XXVI

"'Because he wants me?' What do you mean?" I asked even more confused than before desperately trying to understand what he meant to say in his statement. Who wanted me and why? I asked myself trying to decipher my father's cryptic sentence.

"The vampire who gave you his blood...he is the one who killed your sister, but kept you alive" he seriously stated, looking deep into my eyes as if he was trying to convince me about the truthness of his words.

"I don't believe you! That's not true!" I screamed from the top of my lungs, pushing him away from me. Even if I was a human, after spending the last few weeks in Shaan's presence I was well aware of the fact that no vampire would be capable of stopping after beginning hunting. That meant that who ever killed my sister was not Shaan, because he wouldn't be capable of stopping if he went hunting while he was too thirsty. And, if he really was our attacker that would mean that I should be dead as well as my sister Emily. And, I wasn't.

"Why are you lying?" I asked feeling my tears gather inside my eyes. Even against my will I felt an indescribable need to protect the vampire which tormented me and kept me locked inside a room for the last couple of weeks.

Spending so much time in his presence I began to develop feelings for him, even against my mind's order to never let myself get involved into an emotional relationship with someone like him. 'If only we could rationally decide who we should love...' I continued to repeat inside my head for the last couple of years, finally understanding after I met him that something like that was simply impossible to do. Nobody could rationally decide who she or he had to love, not even me.

"I'm the one who found him with your unconscious body in his arms, while his body was covered in blood. He was holding you, while caressing your hair as if he was mesmerized by your presence there..." my father began to say, avoiding to look towards me as if he felt ashamed by the simple memory of the scene which had develop in front of his eyes a long time ago.

"He killed her... and I looked for him for so many years because I wanted to punish him for everything he did. And when I finally found him you protected the monster that killed your own sister. Why the hell would you do something like that? Isn't it enough that he took away one of my daughters? Did he really have to take you away as well?" he asked exasperated because of the entire situation and even if it was hard to believe him, I must admit that for the first time during my entire life I felt a little sympathy towards his suffering caused by the loss of someone precious to him.

It was pretty obvious that he suffered a lot because of the death of his daughter and that was probably the cause of his behaviour towards me. He wanted to transmit me the same hate he felt for the vampires as a result of Emily's death.

His hate was beyond time, its roots being deep attached inside his heart, without the slightest chance of ever getting past it. There was no way that he could understand the fact that he had to let the past behind and look towards the future.

Unfortunately for him I didn't feel the same because I was too little to even remember the image of my sister. It seemed that my parents kept me in the dark, without telling me that I even had a sister. They simply let me believe that I was their only daughter and, thinking about it now I must admit that their behaviour seems a little strange. Why would they tell me that I was their only child? I asked myself trying to find a rational explanation.

During many years I desperately tried to understand my mother's sadness which drastically transformed her in time until she remained just a shadow of the woman who she used to be. Somehow, I guess I knew that she was keeping something away from me, but I never was too interested in finding out what it was the real cause of her suffering, because I wanted to believe that life could be perfect if you wanted it to be. How wrong of my part to believe such a nonsense!