A Midsummer Night's Dream

Act 4

ACT 4

SCENE 1

In the fog filled forest as night was approaching. In the middle of Puck's conjured up fog, LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS were punching the air blindly trying end one another. HERMIA and HELENA were separated.

LYSANDER: DEMETRIUS, you absolute fool! Where are you? Show yourself to me and fight me like a man!

PUCK: (imitating DEMETRIUS) Over here, you blind donkey!

LYSANDER: (Aggresively punches blindly) I'll get you, you imbecile! I'll rip your head off!

PUCK: Sure, after you grow a pair of...of eyes!

LYSANDER: What, you egg? What are you implying? (Screams and runs off stage shaking fist)

DEMETRIUS: (Runs onstage like a raging maniac) Coward! Stop hiding in the fog and show yourself! I'm just gonna pull your eyeballs out!

PUCK: (imitating LYSANDER) Nah I'm not feeling it. Thank you, next!

DEMETRIUS: I don't care if you want your eyes in place! You snivelling pile of pig dung, I'll get you! (Screams in pain as he punches a tree; continues to run on stage and punch air and things until he gets tired)

LYSANDER: (Enters stage, also worn out) You got lucky tonight, old man. I'll get you in the morning! (Lays against the trunk of a tree and falls asleep)

(DEMETRIUS was silently raging as he quietly lays on a patch of grass near LYSANDER and falls asleep. Meanwhile, HERMIA and HELENA wandered on set, unable to see their own feet, then give up and sleep on opposite sides of a rock, near Lysander and Demetrius.)

SCENE 2

TITANIA was leading BOTTOM and her servants through the woods. They came to a stop.

TITANIA: Sit here, my love from nowhere! Let me caress your cheek and braid blossoms into your hair!

(TITANIA and BOTTOM lay on the ground.)

BOTTOM: Where's PEASEBLOSSOM?

PEASEBLOSSOM: Right here!

BOTTOM: Scratch my head. Now where's COBWEB?

COBWEB: Yes?

BOTTOM: Go get me some honey, fresh from the hive. MUSTARDSEED?

MUSTARDSEED: How may I help you?

BOTTOM: Help with the scratching. My face feels horribly itchy! Like it's just full of hair, don't know why.

TITANIA: Would you fancy some music, dear? My fairies know some that are beautiful to the mortal's ear.

BOTTOM: Oh, certainly!

(The fairies set off to do various tasks. PEASEBLOSSOM and MUSTARDSEED start singing.)

PEASEBLOSSOM AND MUSTARDSEED:

"Hey, can't you see,

Our love springs?

Meant to be,

Please don't leave me~"

TITANIA: Would you like anything to eat? With an empty stomach, you may feel incomplete.

BOTTOM: I'm just crazy for some dry oats. And a bottle of hay would be just perfect!

TITANIA: Ah... I have a fairy who can get you some nuts instead, would that be alright?