Wilted

i observed the girl next to me
silky hair flowing effortlessly down her shoulders

she laughed,
her pearly whites showcasing

her eyes,
glistening with happiness
glistening with confidence

she wasn't alone
being surrounded with friends
surrounded by love

reminding me of how lonely i was

she was cheery,
playful
bright

something, i wasn't
and never will be

she stood up
her figure coming into perfect sight

she was fit
she was curvy
she was pretty
i envied her

insecurities bombard me
flaws surrounded me
emptiness floated me

i would never be her

for was i the girl
with too many issues
with too many scars

for was i the girl
with too many plain features
with too many imperfections

she was beautiful
something, I'll never be

my thoughts played tricks on me
drowned me in an ocean of self doubt

i was on edge
i compared myself to her

picking up my flaws
every time i observed her

everything started to make sense
i was lonely
antisocial
an introvert

i was, for a reason

for insecurities held me back
held me captive from living life fully

it controlled me
possessed me

and at that moment
i couldn't do anything
but feel sorry for myself
as i watched my self esteem
crumble in front of me|insecurities|

this was a collab with my friend @mdolxnn ! she is an amazing writer and you HAVE to check out her books