Wasn't Meant To Be Contained

Chapter 26

As we all crash in the dinning table i walk up and say 'kay i need to talk to you guys, but you might as well all listen im not keeping any secrets' i say looking pointedly at sophia and blake who both look confused and slightly nervous 'why am i finding out about the state of homeless shelters and orphanages just now, did you see that boy his parents died hunteing fo the evil army and hes been starved because hes to scared to go to an orphanage, soph i thought you knew i wanted veryone taken care of, that kid has been through so much' i say my voice cracking, just as tina runs through the door panting, 'isacc ran away i didnt do anything he just ran after hed eaten all i asked about was his parents' she say worriedly, i sigh angrily and huff, 'alright im not in the mood for this just start pulling the kingdoms together by the end of this week i better have every good person inside these walls, and then im putting up the forrest then the amry will start training imediatly and well take it from there, once the forrest is up ill be anouncing im back and then i will going through this kingdom with a tooth pick and fixing every problem, because th is just not right, and im sorry because im not blaming you i know its been hard im just tird and annoyed and im going to sleep in a guest room because i just feel like being alone' i say softly and go up kissing sophia, rose, tina, mark, alice and blakes cheek i wave to everyone and quickly exit, i turn and walk towards my tower that iv been afraid of for my whole life i pull open the door to my room looking around as memories come flying back to me i walk across and look in my mirror i see a girl staring back at me and she hasnt aged a day since she died she looks angelic, as pale as a ghost with the most unaturally green eyes and a thick wild long un tameble mane of curly hair her figure is slightly more slender, but other then that i look as though i was never gone looking into my eyes is the only change the once happy optanmistic sparkling eyes are now weary and pained as though theve seen far to much the pain in them is almost suffocating and i feel a silent tear drip down my cheek, the made me a god but really im still the sam petrified little girl i was 15 yrs ago now i just have twice as much to worry about,

i lay down under the covers still dressed and let the sobs wrack my body knowing no one will here me and for the first time in my life i wanted to give up, to die, just so i wouldn't have so much hope and pressure on my shoulders its worse then ever, and i cant stand it im not sure if i cn do this, im just  a girl thats all ill ever be thats all i ever wanted, and i fall asleep with that thought in my head,

Waking up to the sun rays shining across my face woul be nice but no instead i get pouring rain, its been a week and yesturday i put up the forrest wall, today when the rain clears everyone will be gatherd then blake and soph make all the anouncements finisheing off with me when i reveal myself, iv been fixing little problems so far iv gotte everything how i want it, but somethings missing and i think its isacc i felt this connection with him i cant explain,

i go dow to breakfeast awrae that i look like living death which is funny because i am, i haven tbeen doing to well, this week and everyone just assumes its stress and ill perk up again, but i just dont know if i can,