Autoimmune: This Is My Story

Easter Holiday

That Easter was when the worst of my symptoms flared back up again. My family and I had left our Irish hometown for the two weeks holiday to visit my grandparents living in England. I only wish I could say I got some enjoyment out of it. 

For the majority of that holiday, I shut myself away in one of the bedrooms of my grandparents' house. I was too sick to spend time socializing with my family. Most days, I was fatigued and was suffering from headaches. That feeling of acid rising up my throat had returned. I felt vile. I kept retching, trying to get some of it up, trying to just vomit it all out of my system, but it never left my body. It rose up my throat while I continued to belch uncontrollably. I don't know how to explain it in words, but it wasn't like there was just some trapped wind trying to escape. It was like there was fluid building up in my abdomen and that was the root of all my pain, which was just travelling up through my body like a poison. It caused a vibrating sensation to shoot all the way to my throat and it's like the fluid just dropped back down to my abdomen, causing the bloating to get worse and worse with each paining belch. And every time I did belch, a pain would shoot around either one of the exact same two spots above either side of my rib cage. What I didn't realize at the time is that these two spots were exactly where my liver and my spleen are located. 

I was still on my gluten free diet at this stage. One of the evenings, I sat with my family, eating a bowl of gluten free pasta with pesto and a chicken breast, while the others ate a Chinese takeout, my favorite takeout, which unfortunately, contains gluten, so I decided not to indulge in it. But, that evening, my symptoms persisted, as bad as ever, despite not having eaten so much as a trace of wheat. That was when I knew, and my mother knew, that something was seriously wrong. 

The pain got worse each passing day on that holiday. I spent longer hours locked in the room, most of which I spent sleeping. But, other times, I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to surround myself with my family, and make them have to listen to me constantly belching. I felt disgusting. And I didn't want them to think I was disgusting either. So, when my concentration levels were high, I threw myself into reading and writing, my two biggest past times. I needed to escape. I needed a distraction. So, I went about trying to promote myself as a writer through online mediums, which is always what I had wanted to do with my life. It relaxed me and made me feel slightly better about myself. 

When we returned home, my mother suggested taking a trip to my GP to see what was up. At this point, the symptoms had died down again. And it was the last day of the Easter Holidays. My summer exams were approaching, and having missed some time at school due to the symptoms I had been experiencing, I told her I'd go to the doctor once school had ended for the summer if my symptoms continued to persist. I told her I just wanted to push through the rest of that school year. For the time being, and just to be safe, I decided to stay on the gluten free diet. I returned to school and tried to push through the rest of the year. I managed, but I now really wish I had seen the doctor sooner.