500 Words in a Chapter

B. Curves and sarcasm? Yeah. Totally nerdy.

EXPLANATION.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Can someone please explain to me why those characters are, like, literally the basis of all these stories?

Actually, no. I have a better question. Who came up with the idea of an unpopular girl ending up with the school heartthrob and making an enemy out of whoever the head cheerleader (or popular girl) is?

Because I would rather read the original than read all the remakes that came after.

Like, guys. This is not a Spiderman movie. We’re not supposed to read a series of books and then decide to remake the same characters (except some with different names) afterwards like the first series never happened.

Man. Is that what Toby Maguire feels like? Someone stole his role?

I should send him a cookie or something.

Or a spider to bite him and make him Spiderman again.

. . . Nah, the cookie’s probably better.

Okay, so let’s get down to the reasons that last chapter was cliché.

          .          .          .

“the nerd girl”

I always look like a nerd with my beautiful brown wavy hair that I always put in a ponytail and ocean-deep blue eyes which I hide underneath my glasses that aren’t even that big, and my thin but curvy figure that no one can see in my skinny jeans and tight t-shirts (but OMG I’m so fat), and my smooth clear skin even though I’m a teenager so obviously I should have some kind of acne somewhere, and also my witty personality that always attracts boys to me. I’m also really sarcastic and funny and everyone that I meet loves me.

So clearly I have no friends and I’m ugly.

Really. You’re friendless and ugly.

You sure?

Okay, first of all. Not all nerds wear glasses (and are gorgeous underneath them, for that matter), and not every girl out there is sarcastic and witty and funny. And I don’t really know where the being fat comes in . . . maybe in twenty years the weight will settle in or something, but for now. . . No.

Also, how can someone be a nerd if the author never shows them studying, or raising their hand in class, or even taking a test? They also don’t show the character being awkward, and they actually dress stylishly. Do these authors know what a nerd is?

And, I’m sorry, but you just can’t be invisible when you describe yourself as a freaking supermodel. Can people please stop trying to make pretty girls who know they’re hot seem like nerds who will eventually get turned into pretty girls after some kind of epic makeover anyway?

I mean you can keep the epic makeover because that’s not entirely unrealistic. And sure, you can have them be portrayed as a pretty celebrity in your cast. Because hey, this is fiction. Who cares if Megan Fox is supposed to play an ugly girl? This is your story.

But don’t go and make them describe themselves as this really attractive girl, and then pretend they don’t know that curvy bodies with long hair and nice eyes are looked at as appealing.

I have enough beautiful females telling me how ugly they think they are all the time, even when they’re gorgeous and compared to them I look like a baked potato with string beans for legs.

I did not log onto Wattpad to read about more girls who think they’re ugly. I chose to read a book to escape my daily life and get engrossed in some other character’s life. So let’s get that out of the way.