Words Can Never Describe (I've fallen in love and he's deaf)

Dear Diary, 9/15/2010

I have a confession, shhh!!! And you can't tell anyone (not like you can), but I'm in love. Well, I've been in love with the same guy for the past 5 years and I don't think he notices me. Let me tell you he's gorgeous, dark brown hair, emerald green eyes, plump and I'm assuming soft lips. He's not a muscle man juiced up on steroids, but you can easily say that God must have chiseled his body from a hard piece of marble. (But can you really trust me I'm biased, been head over heels for years. :P) 

So you're probably thinking ( if you could think) that I 'm the boring shy girl at school, who has no friends and for some reason has fallen in love with the most popular guy in school. WRONG!!! It's actually the other way around. I'm the girl that everyone wants to date and party with. So how can I Viola Reynolds, not get the only guy she's loves? Well, it just happens to be that he's deaf. I really can't go up to him and say, "Hey Andrew, I'm Viola and I'm deeply and madly in love with you!!! We should go out on a date..."  

You know I'm usually pretty calm and collected, so much that I'm even known for being the tease at school, but Andrew Connors is the only guy that I lose all train of thought with and even if he would be able to hear what I was saying it probably be no more than a few syllables strung together.

In my defense though I did try talking to him before and that was a total disaster... Let me take you back to the 8th grade. Andrew was the new kid in school just moved from Rhode Island to my great state of California and he was in practically all my classes. It would have taken an idiot not to notice him (like I said he's gorgeous even though he was still going through the awkward puberty stage). I was super nervous, but I at least wanted to say hi and tell him my name, so after our last period class I decided to do all that.  

As everyone was leaving Andrew was still packing up his things and I headed over to his desk. I stood there quietly waiting for him to notice me, but he never looked at me. So finally I decided to say, " Hi , my name is Viola" and I placed a big smile on my face. He still wouldn't look at me. So me being the stubborn person that I am say the same phrase again a little louder, but nothing. Now I was really worried as to why he wouldn't look at me so I tap him on the shoulder and he gives me this face of utter annoyance or disgust. I was hurt I didn't know what his problem was but I was just being friendly... and I quickly ran away. 

*end of flashback*

I know, I know he's deaf he couldn't hear me, but I didn't know that then. I didn't find out until the next day when an interpreter came in to translate for him. I felt bad for thinking he was rude, but I couldn't go up to him anymore after I made such a fool of myself. So I keep my distance and love him from afar. 

Andrew and I are now in senior year of High School, and ever since I found out he was deaf it's been my mission to find a way to communicate with him. So in junior year I decided to enroll myself in American Sign Language classes at my high school. And let me say that it took me a lot of convincing to face my fears and actually try talking to him again, but I was determined life is too short for me not to tell Andrew my feelings....