CRUEL INTENTIONS, bucky barnes

twenty-five

May 21, 2016

Wakanda

Alina wrung her hands together as she absently passed back and forth in front of the large, pane glass window. It spanned down the entire hallway and looked out over a mist-covered forest. 

Steve had been gone for a while, which Alina guessed could only mean that he was having a hard time saying goodbye. She didn't blame him. Even with the promise of Wakandan medical technology, she understood that it had to be difficult for Steve to let Barnes go once again.

"They're prepping him now."

Alina turned around and smiled at Steve. She guessed that it didn't disguise her concern as much as she would've liked.

"I'll be fine," he said with a chuckle. "I just... worry. I know they'll come for him."

"And we will be prepared."

Alina turned around again to face the source of the unfamiliar voice. It was a man she had met only briefly. He had greeted them when she and Steve exited the quinjet two days earlier, but had disappeared after that.

 King T'Challa, the one Steve had been coordinating with to make this work for Barnes. Alina nodded silently at him as he scanned her with his eyes. He still seemed to be uneasy about her presence.

"Agent Malveaux is trustworthy," Steve said. "She's probably the reason we made it out of everything alive. She accessed crucial information about HYDRA and Savannah King that gave us a head start we wouldn't have had otherwise."

The two men shared a glance before both of their gazes settled back on her. She maintained eye contact with Steve, who seemed to be speaking directly to her instead of T'Challa.

"If it weren't for Alina, we would've been going into Siberia blind. The losses would've been... unthinkable."

As the two men turned to each other and continued what must've been an earlier discussion, Alina got lost staring at Steve. 

The cuts on his face had mostly healed over the past two days, but there was still deep bruising on his cheeks that would probably take another few days to fade. 

She couldn't help but wonder how long the rest of his wounds would take to heal, the ones that no one else could see. 

The cavernous depth of his sadness was one that was shared with Barnes, and it was clear losing him again would only deepen the ache of loss he had experienced so many times before. 

And maybe those bruises on his face would only take a few more days to heal, but the injury beneath it, the one in his heart, the rift between him and Stark, Alina wasn't sure about that one either. 

For Alina, the losses were already unthinkable. She wondered what Steve's definition of that would be.

"Hey," he said softly, a gentle hand on her elbow. "You okay?"

"Fine," she said. "Just... taking it all in, I think."

Steve glanced out the window and then back at her, his brow furrowed deeply. T'Challa had left them, presumably to help prep Barnes. Alina dropped her eyes to her hands and tried to work down the lump that was forming in her throat.

So much loss. So much of it could have been prevented. I could've been the one to stop it. Stop her.

"I'm sorry," she said. Steve shifted, but she didn't look up at him. "I'm sorry that Barnes went through everything he did and that it lasted for so many years. I'm sorry you were dragged through it, too, only to lose him again at the end of it all. I can't... I can't express the guilt that will follow me for the rest of my life because of this. Because of her. Savannah and Rumlow and Pierce were the ones who did this, created this mess, this shell of your friend... but I did it, too."