Toy Soldiers (Helford #1)

(20) Dating

I could feel Rian’s eyes on me as I walked away, and I bit hard into my lip to keep from turning back, if it was to only catch his eye. I knew I couldn’t let anything show or I might give something away.

Jonathon was clueless.

“I think you’re going to like this place,” he told me, chipper. He had been in a good mood lately—when I asked what had him so happy he had told me that he hadn’t stopped smiling since I agreed to become exclusive with him two weeks ago, to which I had blushed uncontrollably and muttered something unintelligible like a fool, but it had only made him laugh. His hand was connected with mine in between us, swinging with our momentum as we walked. His smile was contagious, seeming to affect even the weather; it hadn’t ceased being sunny for several days now. “My dad and I used to go there for a while before he started getting so busy, but we still stop in sometimes. They make the absolute best coffee.”

“Coffee is definitely something I need,” I sighed, shaking my head. “I was up the greater part of last night trying to do that history homework. I don’t know a thing about France’s history, and that shows in my grades.”

“You’re doing fine, Cait,” he chided, rolling his eyes. “You’re so obsessed with getting a perfect grade, it’s unnatural. You’re still receiving top marks.”

“Still,” I muttered, my lips twitching with his words. I might have been receiving top marks, but it would certainly only seem like an obsession to him. I wasn’t afraid to admit that I only brought up school because I knew that, if I really fretted about one of my grades, we would study together. And by studying, I mean shamelessly make out in a public place.

By the looks of his grin, I wondered vaguely if he was thinking the same thing. We might have only been together for about two weeks now, but I wasn’t very subtle when it came to relationships, as it turned out.

He tugged me around another corner and continued to talk. “You’re so smart; I don’t understand how you’re not even considering university.”

“Even if I went, I wouldn’t have the slightest idea what I would want to do with my life,” I argued cautiously, trying not to give anything away. “I have no dreams or aspirations. I can’t even do well on a history worksheet.”

Jonathon was frowning so deep that the lines were carved onto his face. “Don’t think like that.”

“It’s the truth,” I sighed, shaking my head. “Let’s not talk about this. You know this just makes us fight.”

“But you’re cute when you’re angry,” he told me, pouting. I reached up and thumped him on the chest, smiling in success when he huffed out in pain.

“Not funny, DuPont,” I replied, but I smiled and leaned into him comfortably, relishing in the feel of his body against mine, the heat of his skin soaking into mine. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me even closer, pressing a kiss onto my temple and making my cheeks warm up, too. He nuzzled his head into my hair, still walking down the sidewalk with me, as confident in his strides as if he had long since memorized the path.

“You know I only care about you, right?” he asked me softly, murmuring into my ear. My eyes closed for a split second. “I only want you to be happy.”

“Yeah,” I whispered back, a shot of pain sparking in my heart like a flame. “I know.”

He released all of me but my ruined hand, bringing it up to kiss the ruined skin before dropping it back to our sides, allowing the momentum to once again swing our joined hands. I felt myself smiling before I even really thought to myself that I should be.

So this is what it felt like to be truly happy.

I looked at Jonathon and the weight of the knife tucked into the waistband of my pants felt like a million tons.