Beast of the Moon(Editing)

FIFTY FOUR

"That is the rule of the Wilds: You must be bigger and stronger and tougher. You must hurt or be hurt."
― Lauren Oliver

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Miah P.O.V

I don't think I've been this miserable since Ajax was taken. North was like my own son and I let him down, not only did I let him down but I lost him. News from the underworld surfaced and it shattered my heart into one thousand pieces that cut me every time I try to put them together.

They said North died down there facing a Hell hound. Apparently he challenged the King and got himself killed for love. He wanted Constance back so much he died trying. I don't think I've stopped crying since I got the news. No one has.

I kept telling myself I'm too strong for this, that I've felt this pain before and survived but I can't and don't think I'll ever come back from this. All I feel is pain, regret and sadness. I put him there, I should have kept a better eye on him and not have let him go down there to his death.

Nymeria explained to me how determined North was when she told him her plan. He was so sure this was the way to get his mate back that he didn't see other options. Wyatt said that North wasn't even panicked when they went to the circle to Hell.

That he kept a straight face the whole time and never voiced that he didn't want to do this. I find myself laughing at how brave he was being. In the werewolf world, Mothers are very protective over their pubs, North was like my pub that I needed to protect with my life.

I named him and his wolf which Mothers do when they have a pub, I taught him about wolves and Vampires. I feel like his mother because I didn't raise him from birth, no I raised him from re-birth as a werewolf.

And I failed to protect him.

I couldn't protect my pub and keep him out of danger. I wont ever know is he saw me as his mother or guardian but I saw him as my child and I always will. A child I lost to the flames. When someone new enters the pack they used to tell people to be careful around me and Connor because we lost our mates.

But now they'll say to be careful around me because not only did I loose my mate, but my pub. I know Ajax is alive, I'd feel it if he was dead, so I guess that's a good thing, but will I ever see him again? No I don't think I will.

Since North didn't have any ties to the pack, no one could feel the pain of his loss from pack feeling. But we all were suffering from him being dead now. One way or another we all had a relationship with that sweet boy. Ever though he wasn't a pure bred Lycan, he had the personality and strength to be an Alpha.

I imagined him ruling a pack some day, he'd be the ideal Alpha. Constance would be his Luna and they'd someday have their own pubs and pass the position onto their first born. My heart warmed at the thought of their future, but now that will never happen.

I can't imagine what Constance is going trough. She must be in so much pain. The only thing that's worst than rejection is when your mate dies. I've heard is feels like someone ripping your soul in two and nothing can fix it, nothing.

Some wolves mate's die before they even meet. I've only heard of one case of that happening. A girl who was in another pack woke up one night screaming in pain and crying her eyes out. The healer came and spoke of how her mate was dying at that very moment.

The girl was given a chance to see her mates grave and after that she killed herself so she could be with him in the after life. I don't know her name or rank but the story to me is heart breaking, I can't even imagine the pain. Knowing you'll never see your mate unless you meet in on the other side.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. I sighed and turned away from the window. I found it peaceful to watch the leaves fall from the trees in early fall, in a few weeks it would be winter here.

I stood from my chair and walked over to the door and pealed it open, Alec was standing there with a sad look on his face. He held a letter out towards me, "It came this morning" he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. I nodded and turned to shut the door. The was laced with gold on the ends and had a wax stamp on the back.

I walked over to me desk and slowly opened it. I pulled a cream covered paper out and read over it quickly. 

Great, another problems I gotta deal with!

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Salvator's P.O.V

I stared out the window and watched as the rain fell from the sky, I never really like rain, it always ruined my hair. As if on command my mothers voice rang in my head, 'It's just a little wet, it's not going to kill you'. I sighed at the memory of when I was a child.

I was always close with my mother, both Isadora and I were, she was warm and loving. Father always worked so I didn't see him much till I turned ten. I still remember that night, the night my mother was taken from me.

Shattered glass, wailed cries, and painful screams. Drogo, the Demon King took her from us, from my father, sister and myself. She was the light in our darkness and they took that. After Mother had both Isadora and I, it was discovered that we did not inherit the Witch gene she possessed.

After Mother was gone, Father started presenting us as pure bred Vampire's, that our Mother was a blood lust monster as well. I've never liked who I am, I don't like what I do to people but I don't have anything now.

I lost hope of finding my mate years ago, I've only felt the pull once and that was so long ago I can barely remember the feeling. She's probably dead considering I spent years trying to find her, I can't think of any other explanation.

Taking Constance wasn't apart of my plan, but it was apart of Fathers. He hates the wolves because our blood line did, he taught Isadora and I to hate them too. But I don't, the wolves have done nothing to me yet I've taken something that mattered to them.

I took North's mate but I had as much of a say in the matter as he did. I don't want Constance, I don't want anyone. But Father wants to tick them off for no reason, maybe it's grief for my mother, or it's anger towards the world.

I don't want to be mean to anyone but Father and Isadora make me, every bad thing I've said was their words through my voice. I just wish Mother would come back. She knows how to control them and make all this madness stop.

I know North isn't dead, he can't be, a Lycan can't just die like that. Well I hope the wolves do something fast to stop all of this.

But I fear it might be too late.....