HAZE OF HOPELESSNESS

Chapter Seventeen

Yasmeen POV

I was numb and frozen. I could not utter anything nor move as he spoke those words that emitted through his vocal cord like venom. His eyes holds no emotion ,he just looks at me blankly

He will kill you too. He will kill you in such a way that just the sight of your corpse will disgust people, even your own mother, a voice in my head said

I..I..don... Don't kill me, ple..please, i found myself saying as i tried to get up when he grab my hand forcefully ,laughing so hard which make me to hold my tummy as i allow the tears to flow freely

Ama..Amaar please...

Shush, am not gonna kill you, i was just joking, i didn't even kill Abeedah, how can i kill what Allah created? you don't even trust me yasmeen.

Am sorry for scaring you, please don't cry, please he said moving closer to me, placing his lips on mine and that moment, what i thought i buried inside me, the painful memories i thought have let go come flashing back in one breath

Why shouldn't i when your father can. Cause you are born to suffer

No, stop it, stop it, i said pushing him away. I swear am going to kill you if u come closer to me, stay away from me, stay away, i said in one breath as tears roll down my cheeks, the painful memories flashing back. I want to run, i want to hide ,I am only full of darkness, my mind is sick

Yasmeen calm down, i promise i won't touch you but please calm down

Yasmeen, what wrong , mummy A said entering inside the room, walking closer to me

Don't you dare come closer to me, don't u dare, i said stepping back

She is going to catch u for him and his going to hurt u so badly till u feel no pain again, he will kill u, a voice in my head said

Leave me alone, leave me alone, just go away ,go away please, i said closing my eyes, holding my head, blocking my ears, as the voices keep repeating itself, screaming louder this time

Shush, it gonna be ok baby, it gonna be ok, Mummy A said engulfing me in a hug as i collapse to the floor, feeling numb, barely alive. The voices stop as i allow darkness to engulf me

I hour later

Are u sure she is going to be okay?

Yeah but she need proper care, she have another life depending on her. Why don't she go see a therapist, i think it going to help her. She had that reaction due to her past, it happens a lot to rape victims. The effects of rape can include both the initial physical trauma as well as deep psychological trauma. Although rape victims commonly report injuries and issues with their reproductive health after the sexual assault, rape doesn't always involve physical force. The most common and lasting effects of rape involve mental health concerns and diminished social confidence

Mummy, i said opening my eyes after trying for what seems like forever

She is awake , yasmeen are u okay? Am so sorry please, Amaar said holding my hand, which makes me to flinch a little

Am sorry, he said letting go off my hand and i could feel the pain in his voice, Ya Allah, am just a big mess

How u feeling Mrs Amaar? A female Doctor Who is probably Amaar age ask with a smile plaster on her face, i wish i can be like her

Alhamdulillah, feeling okay, i said rubbing my tummy. Is my baby okay?

Yeah but you need to take good care of your self okay? You are in ur 2nd trimester now which means the baby organs will become fully developed. The baby will also start to hear and swallow and also begin to move around ,develop sleeping and waking cycles, and that means you need to resume healthy eating cycle and make sure you have a lot of sleep okay?

Inshaallah, i said smiling, just the thought of the baby kicking makes me go crazy, Ya salam, i can't wait

That my girl, see you next week for your antenatal check-up ,she said before leaving , Amaar tailing behind her

Let me get you something to eat, my mother in-law said walking out, leaving me with mummy A and mummy R

How u feeling now? Mummy R ask

Alhamdulillah, much better. I said playing with my fingers

Alhamdulillah, from now on, you won't do anything again OK? We are always at your service

But..

Nothing like but, we can manage everything, and by the way, hajo and hani are here to help us, my mother in-law said coming in. Oya eat this, no argument, she said handing me the food which i took without hesitation

Rukkaya, I want you to write the list of what we are going to need for the Ramadan, she added before sitting down next to me

Ramadan? I whisper to myself but loud enough for them to hear

Yeah dear, it in two weeks time

Hello guys
Sorry for the late update and sorry for the short chapter, will make it up to u guys inshaallah

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