Dead Boys (boyxboy)

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

We instantly sigh as our lips touch. It's the softest and purest feeling and it's over the second it began. Aaron and I pull away at the same time as if we're surprised it actually happened. I feel like we both expected us to back out last moment. But no, it happened and we both stuck through with it.

"Oh," I manage to gasp as we stare at each other only inches away from his face.

"Shit," he breathes and pulls me into him once again.

This kiss isn't so soft and definitely isn't so pure either. Our lips move together a bit awkward because I'm certain both of us have minimal experience, but it doesn't make the kiss any less amazing. Just the feeling of his lips against mine is enough. Just having him so close is enough.

I feel like my insides are melting. Just a puddle of bones and organs and blood dance around in the pit of my stomach. I am like lava falling into him.

I pull away first this time as reality crashes around me wet and cold. My lava body is turned to stone in a matter of seconds. What have we done? What have I done? How could I let this happen?

I look at Aaron's face and it is written all over it that he shares the same thoughts.

"Fuck," I say and scramble away from him to the other side of the couch. Aaron's grey eyes are wide and wild and also hold regret. I can't look at them, I can't look at him. I turn my head away from him, so I can't see that face. I know mine must mirror the same though. I wonder if it pains him to see me regretful as much as it pains me to see him like that.

"Fuck man," he says. I can tell he's searching for the right words. "I don't know what happened to me."

Suddenly the beautiful soul in front of me is a stranger and I feel sick. I almost want to cry. Stupid Bellamy. Stupid.

"Yeah, I'm sorry." I say. My words are messy with emotions, but he doesn't seem to care.

"Fuck, don't say sorry. I'm sorry." he says and I don't know what to say. I stay quiet.

He is like a different person now. He is calm and collected Aaron. Logical, rational, believable Aaron. The Aaron that is a leader, a quiet but sturdy force.

"Should I go?" I ask finally after many silent moments. He looks almost disappointed, but I can hardly tell. Maybe it's wishful thinking.

"Do you want to?" he asks.

I bite my lip, unable to find any correct words.

"This shit can't keep happening, Aaron." I say suddenly and rise from the old green couch. I walk -more like pace- to the other side of the room with my hands on my face.

Aaron gets up as well and follows me. "I know! I know!" He sounds exhausted.

"I don't want to lose anyone! I need this! I need you guys!" I say panicking.

"No one is going to betray you, Bell!" Aaron says and I just shake my head and turn away from him. I can't look at him anymore, it hurts. Everything hurts right now. I've never felt this feeling before.

He comes closer to me and puts his hands on my arms, turning me. His touch drives me crazy and I am unable to deny him. I turn to face him. He doesn't let go of my arms. Instead he trails his hands up so they hold my neck, just where my neck meets my jaw.

"This is so wrong," I say quietly while looking at him. His skin is pale and soft and his dark hair contrasts it so much. He really does look like a piece of artwork. He is so beautiful in everyway. Even if he were ugly I'd still feel this way. I'm not attracted to his looks -well yeah I am- but I'm more attracted to his energy and how his energy mixes with mine. How I feel like I know him even though I've only known him for a few months.