I Understand

What is wrong with me?

Is it that
I openly give my heart
To all the wrong people,
Or is it that they
Take advantage of all that I give them?
I care too much.
Right?
I could be with the ugliest,
Douchiest person in the world
And love them to no extent..
Give them my all..
When I know
That they can break it
Just as easily
As I gave it
To them.
What is wrong with me?
All I ask
Is that
They put in as much effort
Into this relationship
As I do.
But it's too much to ask
Because I give my all
And they just
don't want to
make that sacrifice.
I guess it's my fault
for loving them too hard,
For letting them do what they want,
For not setting any boundaries,
For letting them hang out with the same person that tries to take them away from me.
But no one listens.
And sooner or later
My worst fears
Come to life.
She has taken him
From me
And he has fallen for her
But she doesn't even feel the same
She just wanted someone to mess around with
She took advantage of him
And he let it happen
As did I when he took advantage of me.
But I forgive.
I never forget
Because it haunts me day and night.
When I see her face
I feel insecure.
When I hear her name
I want to crawl in a hole.
When the memories continue to come back,
I try to drown them out
With pills
Alcohol
Weed
Music
Ive tried everything.
Why isn't it working?
I'm so broken.
I put my love and trust in him
And he betrayed it.
But even after what he did
I couldn't let him go.
I mean
That's my baby we're talking about.
I love him too much.
But I'm selfish in the way that I didn't let him go.
It was worth it in then end, though
As we are happier than ever together.
It just worsens when we are apart.
The memories burn through my soul.
But it's okay.
Because I love him.
And I would never tell him this.
Because I don't want to upset him
The way he upset me.
So to answer my question,
Everything is wrong with me.