The Blackout (Under Construction)

Total Darkness

 I woke around 2 P.M. I wrote down the dream I had. I don’t remember having another. I hated it when I woke and I couldn’t remember my dreams. When I woke it was all just, black. I got up off my bed and clenched my crucifix necklace. I opened up my draw and pulled out my Asking Alexandria T-shirt and black skinny jeans and got dressed. My cat greeted me with a rub against my leg. When I got downstairs my dad was sitting in his chair reading the daily paper.

“Good morning son” he said to me. The sound of his voice made me want to slice his throat in his sleep.

“Mornin’” I muttered. I grabbed my copy of the house keys from the table and walked towards the door.

“Where do you think your going?” my dad asked.

“Out” I answered back, opening the door.

“No” he said “you’re not leaving the house”. I slammed the door in anger.

“Why won’t you let me leave this hell?” I yelled.

“Don’t get loud with me!” my dad yelled back.

“NO!” I yelled “I didn’t do anything to be treated like this. If you wanted to keep me locked up why didn’t you keep me in the Safe Home?”

“You know why I couldn’t keep you there” he screamed “now you aren’t leaving this house and that’s final!”

“Why should I listen to you!” I snapped back at him.

“Because I am your father and as long as you live under my roof what I say goes, and for just for giving me attitude you’re grounded for a week!”

“UGH!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. My anger now spent I got up and ran back to my room.  I had to get out of there. I grabbed my mp3 player and ran to my window, clenched my crucifix necklace and snuck out.

◊◊◊

With all my might I knocked on my friend Jennifer’s door.

“Hey Chriss, long time no see” she said with a smile.

“Hey” I answered “can I come in?”

“Sure, what’s on your mind?” she asked curiously, inviting me into her living room.

“Do you remember a girl we used to go to school with?” I asked.

“We went to school with a lot of girls Chriss you have to be specific” she joked.

            “I don’t remember a lot about her” I said softly.

            “Well” she said thinking “was she from the safe home?”

            “Yes!” I said excitedly “well, I think”.

            “Hmm, was she blonde? Brunet? Ginger?” she asked.

            “She had pink highlights” I said “blonde and pink highlights”.

            “Natalia!” She exclaimed “you don’t remember her?”

            “No” I said sadly “I don’t remember much”

            “Aw” she said “you two were like, in love!”

            “Do you know what happened to her?” I asked anxiously.

            “I’m sorry Chriss” she said “she left town right after your….accident”. I placed my hand on my head in disappointment. A tear escaped from my eye and down my cheek. I couldn’t stop the rest of them from there and I started to cry.

            “I’m really sorry, I really am” she said placing her hand on my leg “I wish there was something I can do”. I sighed and wiped my eyes.

            “It’s ok, I don’t even know why I’m crying” I said sniffling “thanks anyway and I better get home before my dad notices I’m gone”. I clenched my crucifix necklace and ran out the door. I put my ear buds in tried to hold back my tears. Unsuccessful in fighting back my tears, I started to cry. My mind couldn’t remember her but my heart did. It felt like my heart and my mind was at battle and I was suffering hits. The song ‘The Blackout’ by Get Scared played on my mp3 player.

            “I can see your face, so why aren't you with me in my arms? I'm becoming numb, I can barely hold up my own hand. But I can still feel you here, while the world begins to fall apart”. The tears continued to pour down my face while I started to run.

            “My pulse slows, as my eyes begin to close. There's a fire inside this beating heart but it only beats for you. Ashes fill my lungs, can't you taste them on your tongue. Watch the light wash away. I'll be holding on and it's all for love” I climbed back up and into my bedroom window. I threw myself on my bed and buried my face into my pillow.

            “Why can’t I remember her?” I thought to myself. My cat jumped on my bed and rubbed her head against my thigh.

            “I love you kitty” I said grabbing my cat hugging her “you’re so beautiful; I’m never going to forget you I promise”. When I looked up my dad was staring in the doorway with a look on his face that said ‘that kid has problems’.

            “Are you ok?” he asked. I didn’t answer him. “Look son, I’m sorry”.

            “You can take you apology and shove it up your…” I stopped my thought dead in its trap.

            “I am too” I finally answered.

            “You don’t have to be, I know how hard this is on you and I understand you are still grieving” he said. For some reason that made me mad.

“I’m not grieving” I bawled at him “you don’t know nothing just leave me alone!” “As you wish” he said sadly. The disappointing look in my dad’s eyes as he left the room sort of made me feel bad for him.  I lay back down on my bed, closed my eyes and took a nap.

○○○

            When I woke I couldn’t have been more disappointed. I didn’t have a dream it was just black. I clenched my fist and in the heat of anger, punched my wall. I squealed and held my red throbbing fist against my chest. I make bad decisions when I’m angry.

            “I give up” I shouted aloud to myself “God help me!” I begged. I held my head down in shame and kicked my backpack against the wall. A paper from inside the bag fell to the floor. I picked up the paper to put it back in the bag. When I grabbed it I realized it wasn’t a paper, it was a letter. When I read who it was from eye’s started to tear up again.

            “I can’t believe it” I said in amazement “Thank you Lord!”