Letters

Chapter Five

I was up most of the night. Not through worry or tossing and turning, like I had most of the week or so. I saw the sun starting to come up and looked at the clock. It was half five in the morning. I’d probably been writing my letter to Thomas for the last hour. I know I needed to tell my friends what was going on. I’m sure they’d be a mixed of emotions, but they also knew I hated being an only child. Here I was getting one last chance at growing my family after everything I’d lost.

After deciding I needed some sleep I went to bed. For the first time in what felt like a long time, I slept uninterrupted for six straight hours.

It had been a couple of days since the funeral and the letters. I’d spoken to my Uncle again he’d told me the story. At least what he knew. So I sent the letter the following day. Now that I knew I had a brother out there, who had been writing to me for years now, I was feeling very nervous.  I hadn’t mentioned about mum and dad but I did let him know that I’d only just found out about the letters. I’d given him my home address and my other contact details hoping that he’d call or something. I really wanted to speak to him. Not write him a letter about mum and dad. Writing it in a letter seemed wrong somehow. It just seemed too easy. The days turned into another week and I was starting to worry that I’d made a huge mistake.

I’d become less depressed and had even started running again. It was Saturday and I’d just come back from my run with two of my friends. When I saw the postman moving away from the street. I ran to my house and opened the door. On the floor was a letter addressed to me in now familiar handwriting.

Dear Kate

It was so good to get your letter. I’m still in shock and sorry it has taken me so long to reply. I don’t know what to say, yet I have so much I want to share with you. I guess the biggest answer to the hardest question from your letter. I’m surprised and shocked mum and dad have never spoken to you about it and shocked that you have only just found out. You’d have to ask mum and dad why they had kept the secret for this long. I don’t want to get in between your relationship with them. I know we both have very different relationships with them. But here goes my side of the story. Your old enough and seem smart enough to make up decisions for yourself. You were two years old and I was five. I had a few issues and mum and dad didn’t know how to deal with them. It was 1987 and people just didn’t talk about things like they do now. I understand that what I’m going to tell you will probably upset you, please know if I could I would try not too. I had what can only be described as anger issues. Doctors told me years later that this is not un-common. I used to hit out at you and so I’m told I pushed you down the stairs on more than one occasion. As much as I hate to say this, I really was too young to understand what I was doing or the consequences. I had grown out of hitting out by the time I was nine. By this time grandma and grandad had become estranged from mum and dad. The damage was done. I couldn’t understand why parents would choose one child over another. It took me a while to see they were just really worried about you. They were just worried that one day I would cause you serious harm. I just wish we could have made contact earlier. That you would have found the letters I’ve been sending, earlier.

I’d love for you to be part of my family. It’s what I’ve always wanted to have a relationship with my sister. I have a new baby and would love for you to meet him and be part of his life. If we can arrange to meet sometime soon, I would like that. I understand if it’s too soon. I’ve wrote my phone number on the back.

I really hope to hear from you soon.

Thomas

To say I was shocked was a HUGE understatement. But here I was with a second chance with a family, I didn’t know, but desperately wanted. I took the phone out of my pocket and called the number on the back of a now adult Thomas holding a really cute baby.