Lovers at Heart (The Bradens, Book One: Love in Bloom Series)

Chapter Thirty-Three, Lovers at Heart

Chapter Thirty-Three

MAX HAD BEEN up all night, hoping and praying that she could carry out her plan, then second- and third-guessing it altogether. Twice she’d hauled herself out of bed to her computer and hovered over the keys, ready to nix the whole thing. In the end, she knew that if she didn’t follow through, what happened between them would continue to haunt her forever, and she’d never have any chance of a lasting relationship.

She riffled through her clothes, looking for just the right thing to wear. Something that said, I’m strong. I’m capable. Her bedroom looked like a tornado had whirled through with jeans and skirts and slacks strewn over the bed and the floor. After two hours of shuffling, trying on, and shedding tears, she knew what she had to wear. She went to the front pocket of her suitcase, where she’d stuffed Treat’s Provincetown Aids Support Group T-shirt. She brought it to her nose and inhaled deeply the scent of the man she loved but had set free, then slipped it on. Tucking it in was interesting, to say the least, since it hung almost to her knees. She’d finally given up and gathered the long shirt in her hands, tying the bottom into a ball at her waist, like she’d seen in television shows from the eighties. She threw a sweatshirt on over it and her most comfortable pair of jeans, then stared at her choices of boots and shoes.

Sneakers. In case I freak out and have to bolt.

THE CHEYENNE CROWNE Pointe Inn was built on the flattest piece of ground Max had ever seen. It stood alone among the parking lots and grassy lawn. There’s no place to hide. She eased past the hotel, scoping it out, this place where she would finally confront her demons. The building looked like any other hotel, a few stories high, big windows, mostly curtained, and a circular drive that led to a covered entrance.

Why am I here?

Max turned around and drove by the hotel in the other direction, contemplating getting back on the highway and returning home. She crossed in front of the hotel two more times, until she was sure that the Cheyenne police would spot her and arrest her for stalking. That would be just my luck. She surveyed the parking lot again, and a shiver ran down her back. The hotel was too far off the beaten track; no one could see her there.

Oh no!

Maybe that was Ryan’s plan. Lure her to a remote location and do something horrible to her. He’d said he had something to talk to her about. Maybe that was a ruse. Wait—she’d contacted him. She was being stupid. They were in a public place. She’d be fine. She hoped.

She parked at the far end of the parking lot, giving herself plenty of time on the way in to change her mind and turn back. She held on to the edge of Treat’s T-shirt beneath her sweatshirt. When she reached the entrance, she stopped to try and calm her racing pulse. She paced the sidewalk, then unzipped her sweatshirt so she could see Treat’s shirt beneath. She pulled forward memories of the way he cared for her, the way he nurtured her. That’s what she wanted, to be nurtured, to be healed. She had to go inside and do this—cleanse herself from the memories that stalked her like prey and pulled her back from every forward step she took.

Max took a deep breath and walked through the glass doors. The young dark-haired woman behind the desk smiled.

“Welcome to the Crowne Point Inn!”

Her high-pitched enthusiasm cut right through Max’s anxiety like a knife, causing her to freeze in the middle of the floor of the large, open lobby. Walk. Leave. Do something! Her mind warred with itself, confusing her legs into frozen pillars. Was she insane? This was the worst idea ever.

She finally turned to leave.

“Max?”

Ryan’s voice made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. She clenched her fists against the instant fear that grasped her nerves. I can do this. Max forced herself to turn and tried her best to feign a smile, but with the way her teeth were grinding together, she wasn’t sure she pulled it off.