"I can't get over what you've done to me." She whispered to the ground before him.
She shuffled side to side, her torn, dusty high tops making the movement seamless as they were broken in to the breaking point. Much like their relationship, Lily looked up to James's eyes to find he was staring at her shuffling feet. Reminded of the time they had gone down to the local beach and he had thrown her into the ocean with exuberant protest.
They laid on the shore, intertwined and covered in sand. Her shoes had dried in the sun and by the time they had untangled themselves and gone home the fabric was stiff from being salt soaked. They had ripped in every possible corner. They still smelt of the sea.
"I don't know what you want from me." He told her shoes.
"I want to be released. I want this twisted relationship to be over." She said now looking straight into his eyes.
She waited for his questions, his anger, his desperation, any form of emotion but only recieved silence.
"Tell me! Tell me we are done!" She shouted at him. His body shook at her angry demand.
For a moment he was tempted to cross the several paces they stood apart and pull her into his arms. He had fixed her so many times before by doing such. But she didn't want him. She wanted rid of him.
Lily fought her heart's desires with her mind's logic. He couldn't be the person she needed him to be. But his hold on her heart was too strong, too potent a toxin to be rid of completely. In time she hoped it would fade and he would become a happy but distant memory. A piece of her past to look back at contently and have no regrets. She knew in her heart though that he would always be hers. The one she couldn't have.
"I won't." James spoke in a bold voice. A voice of uncertain assertion, desperation, and love.
He could not live without her, he wouldn't. She was the one who listened to him regardless of importance. He never had that with anyone else. He could never offer up his opinion without being knocked down but with Lily he could speak freely and know she listened. She was always supporting him, encouraging him, never letting up that he had a wondrous life and he should hold it dear.
Lily never told James throughout their friendship that she had fallen for him. She just figured in time it would happen. That his suggestive comments would become actions. He would always go so far as to give her false hope, telling her that had she asked sooner they would have dated. These comments only emerging once he was dating another.
Although it tormented her to no end she knew her friend was a good man, always faithful, honest, compassionate, and mostly loyal.
"Please, please, please, please." She begged silently.
James could sense she was close to tears. He made one step forward for which Lily took two backward.
"Don't do this Doe. I need you." His use of her nickname sent warmth through her heart.
Her middle name Dorothea had always been a pit of ridicule growing up, but James saw the beauty of embracing it. He called her Doe for short, also suiting her always observing gaze but deep down for her ability to run far and fast from uncomfortable situations.
James knew this was killing her, her heart only words away from breaking under pressure. He strode forward and gripped both her hands before she could pull away. Looking into the pinpoint dots of her irises he silently prayed she would change her mind.
They had only gone out for lunch, a simple, but usual, ritual they had once a month. They both led busy lives in different social circles but he always wanted to make sure she was still in his life. Maybe if he had seen more of her she would not have freaked when he told her he missed her. He had let down his guard around her like usual, but never did he think she would use it against him. He said he had missed her, that he wished she still hung out with their old crew, their old friends, and she had gone completely silent.
