Lottery // Harvey Specter

XVIII

Kyra went through her magazines, "What kind of guy is really your type?" Kyra grinned and rolled her eyes, but filled it in anyway. "Hot, confident and a little troubled is totally your style. Passion and loyalty combined in one, aren't you a lucky woman?"

'What are you doing, love?'

Kyra looked up and smiled, 'Brandon! Nothing, it's a silly magazine, Louisa gave it to me.'

'Hot, confident and a little troubled,' Brandon read out loud, 'Are you sure you're not having an affair? Because those are not the words you use to describe me.'

Kyra laughed, 'I'm not, I swear. And how dare you accuse me of not thinking you're hot?!'

Brandon smiled, 'Well, it's always good to hear.'

Kyra glared and threw a pillow at him and her phone started ringing, 'Hello?'

Brandon looked at her as she shot straight and grabbed her shoes, 'Where are you going?'

Kyra kissed him on his cheek as she hung up, 'It's Louisa, Kai is having another check-up.'

Brandon rolled his eyes, 'Oh come on, they're your best friend and your brother, they can survive without you.'

Kyra frowned, 'I want to be there.'

'What about the movies?'

Kyra looked at her boyfriend in disbelief, 'My brother was released from the hospital three weeks ago! I just want to know what's going on.'

Brandon frowned as he looked at the magazine's article, 'You know who it does describe?'

Kyra's eyes widened, 'Don't you dare! I need to leave for the hospital! I can't have this conversation now.'

'What?!' Brandon yelled, 'So it's true? You're always rushing of to your brother and when you're not, you don't think about me, but Harvey?! You guys broke up, like twelve years ago?!'

Kyra snatched the magazine out of his hands, 'That's what you're making of it, now if you'd kindly leave me alone. I need to go check up on my brother who was in a coma for three months and is paralysed from the waist down!'

Kyra put on her jacket as she tried to open the door, her hands shaking as she tried to fit the key into the lock. Brandon just followed as she stepped outside, 'Is that why you said no? I proposed to you in front of everyone! And you said no!'

Kyra unlocked the lock on her bicycle, 'Then you shouldn't have put me in that position! You shouldn't have proposed in front of fucking everyone!'

'Yeah? I shouldn't have proposed to you in front of  FUCKING everyone?! You shouldn't have said no! We've been together for three years!'

Kyra turned around, tears running down her cheeks, 'You should go, Brandon. I don't want your stuff in my apartment anymore, I want it gone by the time I get back.'

Brandon's upper lip was trilling out of anger, 'SO WHAT?! YOU BACK DOWN BECAUSE OF A FIGHT?! JUST ADMIT IT, YOU'RE TO FUCKING SCARED TO LET ANYONE IN! AREN'T YOU!? YOU'RE JUST A LOST SOUL, CLINGING TIGHTLY UNTO EVERYONE AROUND YOU, DRAGGING THEM THROUGH THE MUD WITH YOURSELF!'

Kyra shook her head, 'I'm not lost, I used to be perfectly happy actually. Until my brother was run over and you weren't there for me, Brandon. And I realised that I'm better off without you. I'm not lost. I'm just letting you go.' Kyra took a deep breath, 'I want your stuff gone by the time I get back, Brandon.'

***

'So, Harvey,' Dr. Paula started, 'last week you vaguely mentioned something about a girl, Kyra, can you tell me more about her?'

Harvey couldn't help the smile that reached his lips, in fact, Paula was pretty sure he didn't even notice. 'Kyra, she was an angel. She was bright and kind.'

'I can't help but notice, that you're talking in past tense.'

Harvey's smile faded, 'Yes... well. I left her.'

Paula frowned, 'You talk about her like she was your world, why did you leave her? Did it have something with your difficult relationship with your mother?'

'No,' he stated and stayed silent, 'yes. Maybe.'

'Could you explain that to me?'

'I left for my career as a lawyer, but... maybe... after my mother. Maybe I lost some faith in the relationship. I don't know. I didn't think about it, I just left. We would write.'

'Why do you think you wanted her to write?'

'I didn't want it to be over, not completely, she wanted to become a lawyer too. I guess I just figured she'd follow to New York eventually,' Harvey said as he fiddled with his hands.

'But she didn't, did she?' Paula asked.

Harvey shook his head, 'No, she didn't. After three months she just stopped writing me, I guess the distance was getting to much. She didn't say anything in her letters, they just... they just stopped coming.'

'How did that make you feel?'

'Empty. Angry. Why did I think she'd follow me? She was clearly a small town girl, she wanted to stay as close to her family as she could. She didn't care for the cities nor the money she could earn in a career. She just wanted to help people.'

Paula nodded, 'Why didn't you visit her? Ask her why she stopped writing?'

Harvey glanced at Paula, 'Fear, I think. That if I'd see her and she'd tell me... if she'd actually say out loud that she didn't want contact anymore... it would suddenly become real.'

'You have learned lots about yourself, Harvey. Do you think that not only your mother, but Kyra also became a reason of why you panicked when Donna suddenly went to work for Louis?'

'Maybe, you're the doctor. You tell me.'

Paula sighed, 'Okay then, Harvey. I think that Donna was a constant factor in you life, I think that she was the only woman you could count on. You weren't even in a relationship with her, she just kept you on the right path. And when she left, she reminded you of your mother and Kyra.'

'I think you're wrong,' Harvey told her, 'Kyra was a woman I could count on. She was too good of a person to let someone down. I don't think she'd be capable of it. I left her, I let her down. She couldn't count on me.'

Paula sat back and smiled, the first time Harvey didn't push the blame to someone else.