Writing 101 (with rotXinXpieces)

Unit 1: Basics-- Chapter Two: Spelling and Grammar!

Chapter Two: Spelling and Grammar!

So, we've got the beginning of our story set up. Here's the example from the last chapter, only slightly... different in a very obvious way:

I can't belive this is happening to me!

He did it again!

That no good dirty rotton man had stolen my thunder! This was the third time this month and he was already taking over my departmint in the office. How could he do this to me?!

"I swear, I'm going to kill him." I said.

There we go. I'm sure you noticed the changes as they were a little dramatic, but I hope I made my point as we begin the wonders of spelling! Now, I know what you're thinking.

Dear God, I don't need to learn this again. I learned this in school. Why is she teaching me this?

Because I need to remind you, that's why! So, I don't know about you guys, but when I see a story with very bad spelling, I don't want to read it. I'm sorry, but spelling is very important. Even if you tried your hardest to spell a word and you just leave it and hope the readers know what you're saying, that's not always the case.

YOU may be trying to say a word, but your readers interpret it as a different word. So, don't sit there and keep guessing and hope you get it right. What I do is pop open a new tab and type the word into the search engine of my choice, then (say Google) gives me the word or corrects my spelling.

Or, you know, the old fashion way. Whip out a dictionary and hope you can find it, despite not knowing the spelling.

That also goes for words you don't know. You obviously can't keep using the same words over and over again because the readers will start to notice and get a bit annoyed by the fact that you keep using "fantabulous" or "shit".

Just look up the word you keep using and find different words that mean the same, but it has to be a word that means relatively the same thing. Not something that sounds the same and maybe highly scientific. You can't just write:

I drank my H2O as I watched him blow up cars on the street.

That's just going to make the reader giggle if it's a serious scene. That or they'll wonder why you're trying to make it complicated.

There's also the whole yelling out swear words. In the Stephen King movie, Misery, one of the main characters uses different words to express her rage and insanity. However, it has to match your character's personality. If your character is a serious badass type, he's not gonna run around calling me people poopheads. He'll probably use things like, "assfuck" or things that just involve more mature language.

Now, I know I tend to screw up in some of my stories. I'm typing so fast that I don't realize I spell something wrong and I'm also too lazy to go back and completely read what I just wrote. I just skim and if I don't find anything, I post it. However, my eyes aren't fantastic, so I tend to miss things.

If I go back to read comments or parts of a story for the next chapter and I pick up on a misspelled word, I immediately go back and fix it.

Now for grammar.

Oh boy! Confetti!

No, not really.

So, we know basic grammar, right people? Capitalize the first letter of every sentence, Capitalize names, places, etc... Put periods where they belong, exclamation marks when someone's pissed or excited, or scared. Commas used when listing things or putting together independent and subordinate clauses and I honestly have no idea what those two things are, I just know they make sense. There's also those nifty quotation marks and dialogue. This is where some people may have questions.

Proper dialogue is written like this:

"I swear I'm going to kill him," I said. "That arrogant bastard."

There is a difference here and when I write dialogue. I've seen other authors use my style of dialogue as well, so here's how I write it (and note, it's only very small difference):

"I swear I'm going to kill him," I said, "That arrogant bastard."

That comma makes a difference. I've always written like that and I don't intend to change it just because the technical grammar is the previous example, so mneh. My logic triumphs.

So! Remember!

Spelling is key! Don't know a word? Type in the closest spelling you can on Google and Google will correct it for you! Or, you know, you could use autocorrect, but we all know autocorrect tends to be a buttface about things.

Over using a word? Look up some synonyms! And I mean SYNONYMS, not antonyms! Otherwise, things will become very confusing.

Put those periods and commas where they belong, people! Don't just throw in a bunch of commas because you think it makes the sentences more dramatic. Use exclamation marks and question marks when needed! There's a big difference between "what the hell?" and "what the hell."

There's also a big difference between "Let's eat Joey" and "Let's eat, Joey".

Next: Unit 1: Basics-- Chapter Three: SAID, SAID, SAID!