falling apart. | kylian mbappe

10.

Kylian and I haven't labeled our relationship yet. We only make out, hold hands and do stupid things together, yet he never asked me and I have touched the topic. We've been like this for over a month now. I got used to being in every cover of gossip magazines and college has gotten a bit awkward, people can't get their eyes off me. Work is going well but I haven't had a lot of it lately.

"You basically know a lot about me but I don't know anything about you," I comment to Kylian.

We are in a vegan restaurant he found for me. I really appreciate it when people think about my veganism, it was hard growing up for me because neither my relatives or friends ever made vegan food, so I just starved while everyone else ate.

"I already told you a few things about me petit." He smiles while taking a sip off with coke.

"Kylian for real, c' mon," I repeat annoyed. "What are you hiding?"

"Nothing." He looks at me playing dumb. 

"Ok fine, whatever." I roll my eyes. "Can we leave now?" I question him. We have already paid the check and ate everything. I have no idea why we still here.

"Where to?" He asks getting up and I follow his moves whilst shrugging as a response.

We go to his car and we stay inside in silence. "Are you mad?" He suddenly asks.

"I'm not mad, I'm annoyed by your behavior," I answer him while turning on the radio so this is less uncomfortable.

He starts the car in silence and after a few minutes of driving, we arrive in a beautiful big house. He puts a code and the gates open. "Welcome home." He smiles and gets off the car to then open the door for me. 

"Thanks," I mumble looking amused to the huge home. "Do you live here by yourself?" He has never invited me to his house in all of this time, I'm glad he's finally doing it.

"Oui." He says softly.

We walk inside the house and I'm still looking around really impressed. "Don't you feel lonely?" He looks at me confused. "I didn't mean it that way but, for instance, in my apartment when I stay in silence I do feel really lonely, and it's a small flat," I explain quickly.

"Honestly I do." He admits looking down and I nod in understanding.

"I can make that change." He looks at me mixed up. "Who are you in the dark? I, I, show me the scare parts, I, I, who are you when it's 3 AM and you're all alone and Paris doesn't feel like home?" I sing those Camila Cabello songs pretending that I'm good at it and he chuckles.

"God I'm so grateful that you decided to attend to that club that night." He says and hugs me.

"I guess it was destiny, but you have to thank my sister," I say grabbing his arms and pulling away from him. 

"What do you mean?" He questions me.

"Well, she was supposed to work there instead of me. But I don't know where was she supposed to be so she literally made go there." I inform.

"I'll give her a call later." He shows me his white teeth again. "What do you want to do now?" 

"As I noticed there is a huge screen there." I point to his living. "Maybe we can put music on Youtube while we play cards or any board game!" I scream the last part running to his living room, I can hear him complaining. I know my way of entertainment is pretty boring for a 19 years old girl.

I take my phone out of my pocket and decide to open Instagram. I ignore all the notifications and take a picture for my Instagram stories of Kylian handing out the UNO cards.

✾ ✾ ✾

It has been almost three hours and there are food and bottles of water spread all over the living room, we're still playing and of course, I'm winning, Mbappe is pretty pissed off.

"Kylian you can't win at everything in life." I joke and he rolls his eyes.

"I have a World Cup, do you think I care about this game?" He comments annoyed and I choke laughing.

"Are you really mad?" I cry out loud laughing extremely loud. I hear him cursing under his breath. I get up from my seat and throw myself on top of him. "I have won a World Cup, do you think I care about this game?" I mock him laughing.

"I don't sound anything like that." He complains.

"Donatello just shut up," I tell him.

"Why don't you." He starts but I cut him off quickly.

"Please don't make this moment a Netflix movie or I'm leaving," I warn him getting up. 

"I was comfortable." He protests. "By the way, you are really skinny, are you sure you are eating well?" He questions me and I roll my eyes.

"You look like my parents now," I say annoyed. "Anyways, wanna play 21 questions?" I ask him.

"You said you don't want this to be like a Netflix movie." He replies, clearly with a point.

"Yeah but this is the only way I'm getting you to tell me about yourself," I state.

"Fine but I start." He gives in and I nod. "Who was your first boyfriend?" He asks and I look at him confused, so he wants to go there.

"I've never had a boyfriend," I admit and he erupts laughing. "What? I'm being serious!" I yell covering my red face.

"How can you be serious?" He asks laughing.

"I'm being honest, if you don't want to believe me then I don't care." I shrug. "My turn. Are you leaving Paris soon?" I question him shyly. 

"What?" He plays dumb.

"I saw on the news that the Real Madrid wants to sign you," I comment. "Are you going? Please be honest." I plead.

"I don't know yet." He sounds genuine and I sigh. "But if I do, I'm taking you with me." He states.

"I can't leave and you know that. I just can't drop out of college, I don't even know what we are. We've only kissed a few times." I clear up sighing.

"Can we don't start talking and discussing things we don't even know if they are ever gonna happen?" He begs annoyed.

"No, we need to talk about this. I can't fall for you so then you leave me heartbroken here. I have never been through heartbreak and you are not gonna be an exception Kylian." I clarify him.

"Stop being anxious about everything and enjoy life! You're always thinking about the future! We don't even know if we're gonna be alive tomorrow America. Just calm down for once!" He yells at me.

"I can't Mbappe, it's in my blood," I confess getting up from the couch and grabbing my stuff.

"Are you seriously leaving now?" He asks mad.

"I am, I have to study," I tell him. "I'm calling a cab so don't worry about me," I add.

"We were really fine a few seconds, do you tend to ruin things all the time?" He asks clearly annoyed with my attitude.

"I moved here from New York to be finally free from this stupid comments everyone around me said, I'm not gonna handle you now Kylian. Is it too difficult for you not to be so selfish all the time? Am I the one ruining things here or is that you? Am I the one ashamed because I worked as a waitress? I still don't even know any of your friends or family. I'm always forgiving every single mistake you make." I fight irritated with his behavior. "The world doesn't turn around your ass, get that in mind. If you think I'm gonna give up my life, my career to be depending on you, it's not gonna happen, ever." 

I close the front door behind me and leave his house feeling sad and disappointed.