Pretending to be Pregnant

Five

"I will not have any fighting in my school." I was sat opposite the head, Mrs Dowsbury, her eyes flaming with anger.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, my head bowed in shame. She nodded and turned towards Tiffany. Tiffany was sat there, gaping at me in awe.

"Sorry." Tiffany whispered, her pride broken.

"Right, well, I'll let you both off this time, but I am warning you, if this ever, ever, happens again, you will be both out of that door in a shot." She announced dramatically, pointing to the door that led to the exit. I nodded, gulping. "Off you go." She said turning her back towards us as she dismissed us. "Actually, Esme, can I have a quick word?" I quickly perched my bum back on the squishy chair, whilst Tiffany left, sending a couple of death glares my way as she strode out of the office with confidence.

Mrs Dowsbury slowly turned back towards me.

"Esme, you're a good girl. Never did I think you would be fighting in the school corridors. You were brought up in a very wealthy, loving family and we all know that you're going to go incredibly far in life!" I looked at kind, but stern, Mrs Dowsbury and instantly felt ashamed. "That's why, well, that's why I was a little surprised at your boyfriend's announcement back there, along with the rest of the staff." I nodded, feeling tears spring to my eyes. "Oh, darling." Mrs Dowsbury sprang from her seat and gestured towards the sofa at the other side of her office. I quickly sat down and she sat down next to me and put her arm around me as though she was my mother. Instantly she offered me a tissue from a box on a wooden side table.

"Thanks." I sobbed, quickly pulling a tissue from the box.

"You're welcome. So, is it true?" Mrs Dowsbury asked. Thoughtfully I sat there and bit my lip. I could tell her, I could tell her everything. Something about her kind motherly face and loving gestures invited the truth. I wanted to confide in her.

But of course, I didn't. Unable to say the words aloud, I nodded.

"You're pregnant?" She asked doubtfully.

"Yes."

"How many months?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I only just found out last night." Mrs Dowsbury quickly looked me up and down, taking in my flat, smooth stomach.

"I don't suppose you're that far gone. Have you told anybody?" By anybody, she meant had I told my parents yet. I shook my head and then, deciding I might as well go all out burst into tears again.

"I didn't want to tell anybody. I'm so angry at Ryan because I didn't want anybody to find out. I'm so stupid. I don't even know what I'm going to do yet. I mean, I still have options, right? I wanted to discuss those options with Ryan, but no, he decides to announce it to the whole school like he can't wait to be a father." I shook, terrified of my own acting skills. Mrs Dowsbury just sat there, taking it all in.

"Esme, I know how you feel." I frowned. She continued with her explanation. "I have a daughter, who, when I was just eighteen, I gave birth to. She was beautiful. But, my parents had thrown me out when they had found out that I was pregnant. I'd had nowhere to go and the father, well he wasn't interested. Thing is, it didn't matter in the end." Mrs Dowsbury had turned away from me now. She gave a quiet sniff. Noticing that she had used the past tense, I knew what had happened before I asked her the question.

"What happened?"

"She died. She was born two months early and the doctor's just couldn't keep her alive." Quickly, Mrs Dowsbury grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes. "In the end, I graduated and a couple of years later I met my current husband. Then I had my other children, despite fearing that the same would happen to them. I guess, what I'm trying to say is, don't make any decisions just yet." Guiltily I looked away.

"I'm going to keep the baby." I whispered, subconsciously, but barely inaudible.

The baby.

I'd said 'baby' like it had actually existed. I was going mad. For a second, I'd even convinced myself that 'the baby' was real. This just made me burst into tears further.

"Don't worry, we'll help you. We'll help you every step of the way. I want this school to give you the support nobody ever gave me." I nodded and messed with a strand of my wavy hair.

"I don't want to tell my parents. Not yet." I said, looking her in the eyes.

"That's okay. We can work something out." She smiled sympathetically and gave me a quick hug. "It's going to be okay." She told me.

No it wasn't.

It most definitely wasn't going to be okay.

Everyone thought I was pregnant, when actually, I wasn't.

How would they all react when I reached my due date with a flat stomach and no baby? I shook at the thought.

"Anyway, there's no point you going back to class, it's nearly the end of period one. But, promise me, you'll go to period two?" I nodded. "And Esme? Don't listen to anything anybody says. You're a good girl, you're sensible and I know you're going to do just fine in life. Just because you're pregnant, it doesn't mean that you can't eventually go to college. At the end of the day, you're still one of the best students at this school." I sighed as I walked out of her office. I knew what came next. The staring. The whispering. And the sly comments.

As I swiftly marched down the corridor, I realised, I needed to do something and I needed to do something soon, before it was too late.

The only question was; but what?