Toxic Love

Ice cubes and Chinese

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6 months later.

The past 6 months have flown by, along with this whole year really. This weekend me and Jax are celebrating our first year anniversary. I can't believe it's been a year already. What with Jax going back to prison and our 5 weeks apart it doesn't seem possible that a year has passed.

We had our scan after our reconciliation. I was just over 8 weeks pregnant and with our 2 scans since we have confirmed our beautiful baby boy is cooking nicely. I'm 8 and a half months pregnant now and believe me I feel like I'm carrying a bear. I'm so big but looking at my babies daddy it's hardly surprising. Looks like little man is gonna be as big at Jax.

Speaking of Jax he's been on a methadone program for the last six months. He's doing so well. He's had 2 slip ups but I'm so proud of him, he's put weight on and looks his hot self again. Levi and Chris have even let him take the business back over. He's back to his usual self and things are going great. In the next couple of weeks he's due to reduce his methadone. That's another step closer to be being drug free.

A lot has changed in the last six months and it's not just my figure. Aunty June moved out, she moved in with her gentleman friend. Skins, the pair of them are stoned the majority of the time but blissfully happy so who cares. Chris and T have moved in. We have changed everything around at home. The guest room is now a nursery all ready for our new arrival.

    Levi and Jess are still living here and I couldn't be happier to have my 2 best friends and their boyfriends living with me and Jax.  The others are all doing good. Jax and Toby are still strained, that makes things difficult. Jax doesn't trust Tobs anymore and Toby has lost all respect for Jax. I don't see Toby as often as I would like. Jax begrudgingly lets me see him occasionally but it's a small sacrifice I have to make to keep the peace. I text him all the time though.

    Me and Jax have gone from strength to strength. The last six months on the whole has been perfect. As impossible as it sounds I love him more now than I ever thought I could. We have grown together and I know now our bond is unbreakable.

   Throughout my pregnancy Jax has been the perfect partner. Ok yeah he's probably been a bit over the top but I didn't expect anything less. I've got about 2 weeks left of my pregnancy and my body has changed so much my boobs have grown much to Jax's delight. My hips have grown wider and my belly is the perfect rounded bump. Despite my excitement of our impending arrival I've had hang ups about my body. Especially when girls constantly throw themselves at Jax regardless of my presence. I know my doubts are my own insecurities, Jax has never made me feel less than the most beautiful girl in the world. In fact my being pregnant seems to turn him on more. On more than one occasion he's told me I've never looked better swollen with his child growing inside of me. He's also assured me that it won't be long till I will be the same state again.

    I just laugh at him. He will change his mind when our son is screaming all night wanting to be fed. Deep down though I know it won't change his mind. He's so excited about Macaulay's arrival. That's the name we decided on. Macaulay Terry Mayweather. He has made the nursery look beautiful and everything is ready. Macaulay's already been spoilt that baby has more shoes and clothes than me. If it's not Jax buying him stuff it's Aunty T and Aunty Jess and don't even get me started on why a baby needs boxing gloves but amongst all the other stuff Uncle Tel insisted. Everyone is looking forward to him getting here. He will want for nothing.

   I'm laying in bed right now, completely naked. Sleeping can be an issue in its self without clothes restricting me. I stretch my toes wondering what Jax is doing. You see it's 11:00am ish and I'm being what some would call lazy. I prefer to call it making the most of me time.